7 Expert-Backed Ways to Ease Your Child’s Back-to-School Anxiety
written by Kimberly Zapata, posted on Parents
Many children find school unnerving. From first day jitters to concerns about bullying, going to school can be a major cause of stress. It may also bring up feelings of fear, insecurity, apprehension, and angst. But are your child’s worries normal? How can you ease back-to-school anxiety—if your child is suffering from it?
We asked the two experts to weigh in. This is what they had to say.
What Is Back-to-School Anxiety?
Back-to-school anxiety is any type of anxiety tied to going or returning to school. The cause of back-to-school anxiety can vary. Some kids are worried about being separated from beloved family members. This is commonly referred to as separation anxiety. Others worry about making friends.
“The average child’s school day is packed with potential stressors,” explains an article from Harvard Health. “[This includes] separating from parents, meeting academic expectations, managing peer groups, and navigating loud, crowded school hallways and cafeteria, to name just a few… but for some children—and particularly for children who already struggle with anxiety or have anxiety disorders—the return to school can be very stressful.”
What Causes Back-to-School Anxiety?
As mentioned, there are many causes of back-to-school anxiety, including:
- Academic struggles. Children with learning disabilities (both diagnosed and untreated) and those who struggle academically may experience performance-induced fear and anxiety.
- Interpersonal struggles. While navigating friendships and relationships is a “normal” part of life, some children find the pressure too great. Fights, breakups, and friendship fallouts can increase anxiety.
- Bullying. Children who are bullied may also experience back-to-school anxiety. This is likely due to concern and fear.
- Health conditions. According to Psych Central, conditions like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and autism spectrum disorder can “make fitting in and succeeding at school that much harder — paving the way for school anxiety.”
- Scheduling and the unknown. Many other factors can cause anxiety. Everything from a fear of the unknown to challenging teacher assignments can lead to stress, undue pressure, and anxiety.
Being separated from beloved family members can also be a major cause of stress, particularly for young children.
That said, it’s important to note that some children are just more prone to anxiety than others. Those with a family history of anxiety, for example, may be genetically predisposed. Others may just have higher risk factors, including familial instability and abuse or neglect. The loss of a beloved friend or family member can also trigger anxiety.
What Are the Signs of Anxiety?
The signs of back-to-school anxiety vary, from person to person and case to case. Anxiety looks different in younger children, for example, than in older ones. It may also manifest in a myriad of ways, depending on the cause of said anxiety and/or the type.
The most common signs of anxiety in children are:
- Increased physical complaints, i.e. frequent stomachaches, headaches, or nausea
- Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
- Loss of interest in beloved activities
- Irritability and/or short-temperedness
- Difficulty concentrating
- Constant worry
“Anxiety can look a lot of different ways since there are a lot of different ways it presents,” adds Kendra Read, attending psychologist at Seattle Children’s Hospital. “Some key things to look out for are avoidance (overt- like not going to school or not talking, and subtle- like overdoing work to avoid failure), physical sensations without a clear other cause (heart racing, stomach aches, throwing up, diarrhea, shaking, etc), and even anger-filled outbursts.”
How Can You Help Your Child If They Are Worried About School?
While back-to-school anxiety can seem overwhelming, there are ways to support your child through this period—and these feelings.
Listen—and validate their feelings
One of the best ways to support your child is to listen, without judgment, and to validate their feelings. Sometimes, expressing their feelings is all a child needs to feel better. “The most helpful thing you can do to support your child is to validate their feelings and express confidence in their abilities,” says Read. “Saying things like ‘I know you feel nervous/scared/anxious but you’re doing great’ or ‘I know you can do this’ can be helpful.” C. Leigh McInnis, LPC and executive director at Newport Healthcare in Virginia, stresses the importance of listening.
“Allow your child to voice their concerns,” they add. “If you notice signs that your child may be struggling with stressor anxiety, it’s important that they feel comfortable enough to express what they are feeling to you. You should also make an effort to be present and assure your child that they are not alone.” Feeling seen, heard, and supported is key.
Remind your child they aren’t alone
While your child may feel like the only one who is nervous about starting school again, other children experience back-to-school anxiety. It is important they realize this; i.e., it is important you let them know they are not alone.
Practice school routines
Before the start of the year, you and your child may want to consider doing a walk-through of their school day, starting with their morning routine. This means waking up at a set time, eating breakfast, packing their school bag, and traveling to and from school. After the walk-through, you can ask your child for their input on how things went. Encourage them to give feedback on their successes and challenges, including potential pain points, so you can work through them together.
Try calming activies
While it’s important to be prepared, having calming tools is key. “Encourage your child to try breathing exercises. These are proven to have a calming effect on the nervous system,” says McInnis. “Activities such as yoga and meditation may also help, and you should try to get your child or teen to write in a journal, as this is another evidence-based tool for stress relief.”
Prep and plan
If your child is concerned about reconnecting with friends they haven’t seen in months, arrange some playdates. Helping your children reconnect with old friends or strengthen bonds with new ones not only reduces anxiety and stress but also can help your child start the year off on the right foot.
If your child is concerned about the environment, do what you can to prepare them for the classroom. Take them to whatever events the school offers, whether they be orientations, tours, or kid-friendly back-to-school nights. Grab some back-to-school books from the library and read them together.
Head outdoors, physically or mentally
“Research has repeatedly proven that time outdoors reduces levels of stress, depression, and anxiety,” McInnis adds. “When children aren’t in school, spend time hiking or at the beach. Mental imagery and visualization are also powerful tools. When teens practice positive visualization, for example, they learn how to regulate their emotions and relieve anxiety and stress.” You’ll also want to get to the root of the problem, i.e., if academic struggles are the cause of said anxiety, you can and should get your child additional support.
Talk to the school counselor and/or mental health professional
If your child has significant anxiety, you may want to talk to their counselor and/or the school’s mental health team. Being in contact with them can help you and your child come up with a support plan. It will give them a safe and trusted point of contact during the day, which is pivotal if they are feeling particularly stressed. And they can offer guidance for social, emotional, and behavioral issues.