Finding Your Child’s Strength and making them Strong

Your Childs Strengths

When we focus on our children strengths and not their weaknesses, we can provide them with confidence and stability for the future. Children are not little generalists; therefore, our parent expectation should be on what your child has a passion for, rather than your passion or the passion you hoped your child would have.  The author and Psychologist, Wendy Mogel says, “in the real world there is no room for the generalist except on Jeopardy! Accept your child’s flaws and encourage her to follow their interests and help foster their strengths.

A Few Ways to Build Your Childs Strengths

  • Encourage your child/children to play, observe and explore to find what they enjoy. Yes, that means putting down the electronic device and using that time to engage and interact with another human or the environment. It also means joining new clubs or trying new activities to ‘try and see’ if it is an area of interest. For example, photography, piano, painting, drawing, soccer, etc. In the long run that is where they will find happiness and fulfillment.

 

  • Once you and your child have identified their area of strength or passion, build it.  Try to stay away from gearing your child in a direction that they are clearly not showing an interest in. For example, if your child has the talent to be a horse jockey, you would not want to encourage him to build his science background in an effort to enter into the field of medicine. When we ignore a child’s natural strengths and force greater achievements on them, it can hinder their true spirit, which can result in a stifling of interests, worry and unhappiness. 

 

  • Identify your child’s strengths in discussion with him (e.g., Youre a really great out of the box thinker. In our house, youre going to be the person I go to when I am struggling to solve a problem. You find unique and new ways to think about the problem and solutions).  In general, have discussions with your family, casual ones in the car or at the dinner table. This helps to also build your child’s sense of self, identity and confidence.


As we all know it to be true, “the days of parenthood are long, but the years are fast.” Create a home environment of positivity that focuses on strengths rather than weaknesses. Make it a point to give your child 3 praises each day (morning, evening, night). For example, “Thank you for putting your shoes in the closet. Thank you for helping to clear the table,” instead of “Your shoes are out in the middle of the living room again? Can’t you ever just put your plate in the sink?”  It’s so easy to point out the negative, but it takes the same amount of energy to say something positive. That positivity will also help to build a greater bond between you and your child.

Here’s to finding your children’s strengths, building them up, and making them strong!

by Chrissy Sunberg, M.Ed., AAC of Psychological & Educational Consulting
"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Julie C.
"Dr. Matheis has a remarkable ability to understand the unique needs of her patients and address them constructively. She builds strong, meaningful relationships with patients and their families, encouraging trust and collaboration. When working with my son who struggles with autism-related anxiety, she created an environment in which he was able to calm down and open up to her in ways I had not seen before. She was able to reach him and helped him work through his crisis/problem. Most importantly, she empowered him to move forward."
- N.L.
"Dr. Matheis is amazing. She has tremendous resources and loads of energy. She is not willing to accept anything less than the most effective results for her clients. She made me feel as if my son was her top priority throughout the entire process. I would, without reservation, give her my highest recommendations.  Thank you, Dr. Matheis!"
- Anonymous
"Dr. Matheis has an amazing ability to read kids and connect with them. She has been an invaluable resource for our family over the past several years and has helped us with everything from educational consulting, to uncovering diagnoses as well as family therapy. Working with Dr. Matheis never feels clinical and most importantly, our children love and trust her. We can not thank you enough Dr. Liz!"
- Anonymous
"My teenage son had been seeing Dr. Matheis through his senior year of high school, as he was only diagnosed with ADHD at 16 years old.  Dr. Matheis came highly recommended from our pediatrician and she has done wonders for our son as well as our family, navigating new ways for him to deal with his diagnosis without the use of medication.  She taught him ways to organize himself and even when something did not work for him, she patiently continued teaching him new ways to keep himself on track.  She has also helped us as parents to understand how his mind works so that we did not continue to blame his lack of focus on him, rather on his unique way of thinking.  Thank you Dr. Matheis!!!!"
- LG
"Dr. Liz is the best! Our family was directed to her by our Pediatrician to assist with figuring out severe mood changes, severe anxiety, strange new fears and food aversion that had come onto one of our children literally overnight. After just a couple of visits, she suggested that the issues may actually be rooted in a physical issue and suggested we immediately take our child to be swabbed for strep, because Dr. Liz suspected PANDAS (a pediatric autoimmune disorder brought on by strep). The same Pediatrician that suggested Dr. Liz would not do the swab (they do not believe in PANDAS and we no longer go there) but I took my child to my doctor who did the swab and it was positive for strep. When our child went on antibiotics, within 24 hours all symptoms went away and our child was back :-) Dr. Liz then recommended a PANDAS specialist who helped us and our child is in complete remission and is happy and healthy. We are incredibly grateful to Dr. Liz for her knowledge of all things, even the most remote and unusual and for helping us so much! Thank you!"
- Anonymous
"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Anonymous
"Thank you, Dr. Liz. Although we have told you countless times, it will never feel enough. You have listened when J could barely speak and continued to listen when he was sad, angry and confused. You've challenged him and directed us in our roles as parents. You've helped J face his fears while the list evolved and changed, and yet you've stayed committed to 'the course.' We pray that your children realize that time away from them is spent helping children learn and that vulnerability is a sign of strength and bravery."
- June I
"My son was admitted to an Ivy League school when only 2 years ago, you assessed him and saw his struggles, his Dyslexia. We are grateful that he no longer has to carry that deep feeling of inadequacy or shame that must have kept him so self conscious and from reaching his potential. He has the PERFECT program for him. He has A's in high math and economics. He became a Merit Scholar, a Boys State legislature, the HEAD captain of the football team and help a job ALL while studying and managing his classes and disability. I am PROUD of you, a young doctor, who knows and sees the vulnerability of children and helps them recognize "it's NO big deal" God bless."
- Anonymous

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513 W Mt Pleasant Ave, Ste 212,
​Livingston, NJ 07039