How to Create an Emotionally Healthy Summer Break

​With the increase in screen time, social media pressures, school violence, and hyper-focus on academic achievement among children today, it is important now more than ever that we support our children’s social and emotional wellbeing at home. What better time to start than now, with sunshine, grass underneath our feet, and fresh air!  While academic achievement plays an important role in helping our children live successful, fulfilling lives, helping them build emotional intelligence to better understand themselves, navigate social interactions and build meaningful relationships is key. Building social and emotional competence can seem complex, but here a few simple ways to help raise emotionally healthy children:

Play!
Play allows a child to navigate strong emotions and situations in a safe setting. Play is essential to development and promotes healthy social and emotional growth. Students have less opportunities to play at school and lack of play affects emotional development, leading to issues with attention and self control. Play is the language of a child. Playing with your child can better help you enter their world and understand their thoughts and emotions on a deeper level. With our hurried lifestyles, play can seem unrealistic and overwhelming for parents, however, even twenty minutes per day of uninterrupted play can promote connection and emotional regulation. Play provides our children with important experiences to help them learn about their emotions, problem solve and develop the skills necessary to become confident and competent adults.

Emotions All Day Long
It’s important that children learn that all emotions are okay ! It’s crucial that we validate when our children are feeling all different emotions. The younger that we teach our children about their emotions and build their emotional vocabulary, the less overwhelming they will become as our children get older. Understanding and accepting our emotions is foundational to being able to manage them. It’s important to demonstrate a curiosity for our children’s feelings so we are better able to help reframe their behavior in the moment.

Reflect On Your Experiences, Emotionally
Regulating our own emotions in order to co-regulate with our children is important! Its unrealistic to think we’re never going to be angry or upset in front of our kids. Process with your child afterwards so when they experience it themselves, it’s not as scary or overwhelming. Observing your child’s experiences as well as the experiences of others around them and commenting in a non-judgemental manner will help our children to identify emotions in themselves as well as develop empathy.

Be Mindful
We all bring with us different experiences to our parenthood journey. Some of us may have been raised to cover or hide our emotions. Emotions can be overwhelming for all of us. Pay attention to what’s happening to your own body when you experience different emotions. Does your heart race fast, do your palms become sweaty?  Emotions are actually a label for physiological changes that happen in your body. Identifying these cues will help you to be able to recognize the physiological changes that happen in your body and create strategies to help you regulate. By simply paying attention to our triggers, we will become more mindful and less reactive when interacting with our children.

Regulate and Co-Regulate
We constantly hear about self- regulation in children, however, what we need to first talk about is co- regulation. Our children are not innately born knowing how to self – regulate. We all want our children to have the skills to manage strong emotions, but young children may not be developmentally capable to manage their emotions independently. They need us as parents, to be their copilot to navigate the flight of emotions they experience on a daily basis. However, it’s sometimes easier said than done as our own bodies Fight or flight response may become activated when our children are having a strong emotional experience. All children ultimately want to feel safe, secure, and loved. By being mindful and reflective of our own emotions, we are better able to regulate ourselves in order to provide a calm environment and a strong foundation for healthy emotional development.

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by Rachael Berringer, LAC
"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Julie C.
"Dr. Matheis has a remarkable ability to understand the unique needs of her patients and address them constructively. She builds strong, meaningful relationships with patients and their families, encouraging trust and collaboration. When working with my son who struggles with autism-related anxiety, she created an environment in which he was able to calm down and open up to her in ways I had not seen before. She was able to reach him and helped him work through his crisis/problem. Most importantly, she empowered him to move forward."
- N.L.
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- Anonymous
"Dr. Matheis has an amazing ability to read kids and connect with them. She has been an invaluable resource for our family over the past several years and has helped us with everything from educational consulting, to uncovering diagnoses as well as family therapy. Working with Dr. Matheis never feels clinical and most importantly, our children love and trust her. We can not thank you enough Dr. Liz!"
- Anonymous
"My teenage son had been seeing Dr. Matheis through his senior year of high school, as he was only diagnosed with ADHD at 16 years old.  Dr. Matheis came highly recommended from our pediatrician and she has done wonders for our son as well as our family, navigating new ways for him to deal with his diagnosis without the use of medication.  She taught him ways to organize himself and even when something did not work for him, she patiently continued teaching him new ways to keep himself on track.  She has also helped us as parents to understand how his mind works so that we did not continue to blame his lack of focus on him, rather on his unique way of thinking.  Thank you Dr. Matheis!!!!"
- LG
"Dr. Liz is the best! Our family was directed to her by our Pediatrician to assist with figuring out severe mood changes, severe anxiety, strange new fears and food aversion that had come onto one of our children literally overnight. After just a couple of visits, she suggested that the issues may actually be rooted in a physical issue and suggested we immediately take our child to be swabbed for strep, because Dr. Liz suspected PANDAS (a pediatric autoimmune disorder brought on by strep). The same Pediatrician that suggested Dr. Liz would not do the swab (they do not believe in PANDAS and we no longer go there) but I took my child to my doctor who did the swab and it was positive for strep. When our child went on antibiotics, within 24 hours all symptoms went away and our child was back :-) Dr. Liz then recommended a PANDAS specialist who helped us and our child is in complete remission and is happy and healthy. We are incredibly grateful to Dr. Liz for her knowledge of all things, even the most remote and unusual and for helping us so much! Thank you!"
- Anonymous
"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Anonymous
"Thank you, Dr. Liz. Although we have told you countless times, it will never feel enough. You have listened when J could barely speak and continued to listen when he was sad, angry and confused. You've challenged him and directed us in our roles as parents. You've helped J face his fears while the list evolved and changed, and yet you've stayed committed to 'the course.' We pray that your children realize that time away from them is spent helping children learn and that vulnerability is a sign of strength and bravery."
- June I
"My son was admitted to an Ivy League school when only 2 years ago, you assessed him and saw his struggles, his Dyslexia. We are grateful that he no longer has to carry that deep feeling of inadequacy or shame that must have kept him so self conscious and from reaching his potential. He has the PERFECT program for him. He has A's in high math and economics. He became a Merit Scholar, a Boys State legislature, the HEAD captain of the football team and help a job ALL while studying and managing his classes and disability. I am PROUD of you, a young doctor, who knows and sees the vulnerability of children and helps them recognize "it's NO big deal" God bless."
- Anonymous

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