Another blog by a young woman who shares her inner most experience and thoughts in her struggle with depression.
Depression is like this dark cloud constantly hanging over you. It follows you everywhere. Sometimes it disappears for a bit, but it always finds its way back. You feel worthless. You feel as if no one loves you. You have very negative thoughts. You hate feeling this way. You wish it would all just end. You want to be fixed. You want these feelings to go away. You're feelings aren't welcome. You're angry. You push people away. You ask yourself why you're acting this way.
You become lonely. You want to be alone, but you also want to be around people. You have no interest in doing things, yet at the same time you want to be doing something to get your mind off of your negative thoughts. You need to keep yourself busy so you don't get too deep into your thoughts, but you want to do nothing and you just want to relax all day. Your thoughts are emotionally draining, so you're exhausted even if you haven't done anything all day. People see you as lazy.
You feel as if no one understands you. Sometimes, people make you feel worse, so you isolate yourself. You're seen as anti-social.
You try to get rid of the dark cloud hanging over your head, but some days it's attached to you by a rope. There are no scissors around to cut the cloud free to let it float somewhere else. You feel stuck, like you can't get away. You are trapped and you feel as if nothing can help.
You take it day by day. Each day is just another day. There's nothing to look forward to. All you know is that when you wake up each morning, you'll be greeted by the all too familiar dark cloud.
Dr. Liz Matheis
Dr Liz Matheis and her team specialize in assisting children and their families with Anxiety, Autism, AD/HD, Learning Disabilities and Behavioral Struggles