Back To School Archives - Page 2 of 3 - Psychological and Educational Consulting

Back to School Summit, 9/1-9/4

Posted on August 6, 2020August 7, 2020

I’d like to invite you to the 2020 Back to School Summit hosted by Rachael G of the Experienced Graduate!

From September 1 – 4, Dr. Craig Springer and I are joining over 20 educators who are going to share all they know about helping your child, teen, or student learn and improve their academics and grades. We’re gonna be talking everything from homework routines, schooling during a pandemic, battles to improving their study skills and more!

This event is featuring experienced teachers, tutors, school counselors, Doctors, parenting experts, academic advisors, and other expert educators.

But here’s the thing…

You have to be registered for the summit to watch the expert interviews! Click the button below to register now and get on the list so you can receive all the links you need to watch the interviews!

https://gumroad.com/a/564753523

Enjoy!

6 Back to School Fears You’re Not the Only One Having

Posted on August 6, 2020August 7, 2020

Written by Dr. Liz Matheis for The Mighty

Traditionally, September marks a ton of back to school jitters, new pencils, backpacks and the promise of another year of growth for our children. Each year, I prepare blogs about how to transition out of the summer sunsets and into the September school groove. But not this year. This year comes with a newfound level of anxiety and questioning, with the main question being, “Should I send my kids to school in September?”

We have been living with the fear of the coronavirus for almost five months. Five months?!? Our new normal has set in and many of us find some glimpses of our old lives and relish it. I will never take any part of my freedoms to leave my house, vacation or socialize for granted. Ever.

Many of you have expressed concerns and worries over your decision to send your kids to school or to opt for virtual learning only. And as a parent myself, I realize that the plans being made right now by our school districts are subject to change again and again, and possibly again.

You’ve shared your questions and concerns and I hope this helps you to see that you are not alone. There is no right or wrong on this. It’s going to look and feel different no matter what.

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Annual Review Meeting: 3 Questions to Ask

Posted on March 18, 2020March 17, 2020

Annual review meeting season is upon us, and it’s time to start thinking about your child’s program for next fall. Based on the information you will be gaining from your child’s teachers, case manager, and related service providers, you and the team will be able to make an assessment of the level of support your child needs across his classes, the type and amount of therapy, as well as supplementary services.

Annual Review Meeting Question #1
Have my child’s goals been achieved?

If your child has a pull-out resource program in any of her subjects or has been placed in a self-contained class, goals were established at your last Annual Review meeting. Based on progress reports from the last year, feedback gained during parent-teacher conferences, and your observations, assess if your child has made adequate progress with her goals.

If she has, it may be time to create more challenging goals in particular areas of growth. If your child has not made progress, it may be time to assess why that is the case and decide if your child needs greater support in that particular subject or area of development.

Annual Review Meeting Question #2
Does my child’s program need to be more or less restrictive?

Depending on where your child is making progress or needs greater support, this is the time to decide where your child’s academic program needs to be more or less restrictive. In other words, does your child need more or less support in each subject? If your child needs the curriculum to be modified because there is a gap in certain skills, then your child’s program may need to be more restrictive with the help of a pull-out resource program. If your child is needs accommodations but is able to keep up with the general education curriculum, then your child may need a less restrictive program with the help of an in-class resource program, or in-class assistance program.

Annual Review Meeting Question #3
How is my child progressing behaviorally, socially, and emotionally?

Although this is not a discussion strictly about academics and homework or the ability to take a test, this area of development is equally as important as the conversation about the type of program your child needs to learn and succeed. In my experience, if a child does not have the emotional stability to manage the demands of being a member of the classroom, receiving academic instruction will be very difficult.

Therefore, this is another very important area for you and your child’s annual review team to assess by asking a few more questions. Is your child able to be in a class with other students of varying skill abilities and still comfortably perform at his level? Is your child able to develop and maintain friendships? How does your child respond to feedback? Is your child able to handle disappointment? Can your child handle a change in the routine without becoming too upset?

Annual review season can be a stressful time of the year as you think about and plan ahead for the next school year. But by assessing your child using these questions, you will be able to make decisions and advocate for your child’s program and related services at the annual review meeting and beyond.

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3 Tips for Creating a Positive Home Environment

Posted on November 4, 2019March 4, 2020

The new school year is well underway and I want to start and keep a positive space in my home after school. This is a big task, but I am ready to take it on.At the end of my work day, I need time to decompress just as much as my kids need time to decompress from their school day. We are all happy that the day is over, but soon thereafter is when the grouchies kick in for everyone and it’s never pretty, especially in my house. And with everyone hustling to get homework started, finished, shift to activities, dinner, and bathing, it’s hard to keep a smile on your face and a positive tone in your voice.

I also know that my when I’m anxious, tired or overwhelmed, my children comply less with their routine and we all end up yelling or just feeling down right unhappy. Who wants that? With all the hustle that goes on each evening, how do you create a positive home environment that makes it so that everyone wants to come home? Well, here are a few ways to do this without needing to plan ahead…well, not too much!

Smile and Say Hello
I know it sounds silly, but once you are home, look your child in the eye, smile, and say hello. If you’re feeling really ambitious, give your child a big hug and kiss (as is age appropriate)! You’re reconnecting with your child after a long break from each other. By doing this, you are non-verbally saying, “You are important to me and I am happy to see you.” This satisfies your child’s need to be acknowledged by you each and every day.

Before bed, make sure you give your child your uninterrupted attention (that means no multi-tasking!) and say good night. Simple, do-able, and effective.

Discuss the High Points of Your Day
Dinner time discussion is a healthy and safe place to bond with your family members and talk about your day. Ask the question, “What was the best/favorite/highest point of your day today?” All family members are encouraged to answer that question. You can also ask the question, “What was your least favorite/worst/lowest point of your day today?” Once again, everyone gets the chance to answer. This will initiate asking questions and engaging each other about time spent apart. As a parent, this gives you an idea of your child’s strengths and struggles during the day. This will help you to ask more specific questions or gain information from your child’s teacher if you are hearing a consistent complaint about a relationship with another child or a class subject.

Please and Thank You
Manners, manners, who doesn’t love manners? We all insist that our children use their manners, but are we, as the adults, also using our manners? Our children learn to interact with each other, their friends, and with us by watching us. That means that when we are speaking with our children, instead of using a loud tone, use a quiet one, smile and keep it positive. Next time you speak with your spouse, remember to say ‘please,’ and ‘thank you’ for helping each other out and remember to use a pleasant tone. Our kids hear the tone and see our body language as well.

These are three small changes you can make to your daily routine to help make your home environment a positive one!

Image provided by: Shield Healthcare

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A Parents Cheat Sheet to the August Jitters

Posted on August 19, 2019March 4, 2020

A new school year is approaching and for many students with special needs, the anxiety is likely growing. As a parent, you begin to notice this pattern each summer and you may not know exactly how to soothe your child other than to say, “You’re going to be fine,” which is nice, but just not enough. You may notice a general level of agitation, argumentativeness, restlessness, constant chattiness about school, or avoiding the topic of school all together.

How can you help ease your child’s anxiety about going back to school?

Take a field trip….to school
Everyone loves a field trip, so pack the kids in the car with a snack because we’re going to school! It may sound silly but take your child to his school and walk around the playground, the main door, and the door at which your child will wait in the morning. If your child takes the bus, review the routine: “The bus stops here. You come out here and walk to over there.” If you drive your child to school, show her where you will drop off and the path that she will use to go to her waiting area until the bell rings.

Play on his playground so that your child develops a sense of comfort after a long summer break. If the school building is open, take a walk around the area and hall where your child’s class is likely to be.

Even though this may be your child’s 3rd, 4th or 5th year in the same school, visiting the school building while it is empty may help your child to feel like the school building and playground are not as intimidating as she imagined them to be.

Get Ready Together
Use the month of August to buy school materials instead of rushing during the last week or few days before the first day of school. That makes a parent anxious which makes a child anxious. Instead, take your time and browse around for the ‘perfect’ lunch box, backpack, sneakers, etc. Let your son or daughter think about the character he/she wants or the color or pattern. Turn it into an exploration mission if you need to! Also, pair up your shopping trip with a fun picnic lunch or a play date. The more positive the association, the better!

View full article at Shield Healthcare

Time Management Tips: Get Organized and Gear Up for School

Posted on August 16, 2019March 4, 2020

As the end of August rapidly approaches, we are reminded that yet another summer is dwindling away… the countdown to a new school year is on. As a result, children and parents alike experience an array of emotions; exciting as this time of year may be, it’s just as easy to get bogged down by the back to school craze. Instead of becoming overwhelmed and anxious due to the imminence of summer’s end, why not use the occasion as an opportunity to teach our kids important life skills by setting attainable goals for the year ahead? Read on for top time management & organization tips your family can use today to stay on track.

Consistency is Everything
Stay ahead your game by creating and maintaining routines in the home. Sticking to predictable routines in the morning, after school, and at bedtime will lead to an increase in organization, and also serve to lessen stress and anxiety among the entire family. The more predictable the routine, the better off children will be. Starting in September, lead by example, and show your children the expectation is for everyone to follow their established routines. For younger children, making a visual schedule can be helpful for keeping kids on task.

Visuals Are Your Friend!
Visuals are a great tool to utilize and can be beneficial in both younger and older individuals. Take advantage of planners, agendas, dry erase boards… the possibilities are endless! The important point is to use these tools consistently. Families may find it helpful to have additional visual tools beyond the planner provided by their school. Keeping a weekly calendar in clear view to indicate when homework and other tasks are completed will help students stay on track, not only with upcoming deadlines, but also with extracurricular activities.

One Size Does Not Fit All
Be realistic in your expectations of your children- find what works for your family. Some tactics may work well for one child but would not benefit another, so be sure to tailor goals to each individual. Take some time before school starts to try out many different approaches using a variety of tools, through trial and error. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to admit when something is not serving the organizational needs of you or your child. By staying involved in your child’s academics and promoting regular conversations to check in with them, you’ll bridge the gap between what’s working for your child and what areas they may be struggling with.

Image from: Pexels

College Accommodations When You Have a Diagnosed Learning Disability

Posted on December 28, 2018February 4, 2020

Not all colleges are created equal when it comes to accommodations for students that have learning disabilities. When your student is in high school, they are protected by their IEP Plan. When they make the transition from high school to college, there are a few things you should know. While the protection of Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) is no longer available for college students, they are still able to receive appropriate academic accommodations via Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act and the ADA the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Before your student decides on the right University for him it’s important to do research and find out if the school has a solid program to provide necessary service and accommodations in academics, the residential experience, and campus access.

Postsecondary Education

Every postsecondary institution by law should have a program on campus, but some are more established than others. Some offer a continuum of comprehensive services while others barely offer extended time on tests. Some schools may offer workshops to help students develop study and time management skills. They may have learning specialists with whom students can meet once a week in a one-on-one setting. They may provide more targeted academic advising than students’ regular academic advisor can offer. These services are above what the law requires, so while some schools provide these for free, others incorporate them under a well worth it special fee-for-service program.

There is no federal regulation indicating what type of documentation the college has to accept to prove that your student has a diagnosed learning disability. Some colleges, may require a diagnosis described in a detailed letter from a pediatrician or psychologist or an IEP or 504 plan. Some schools might ask that the student’s treating professional complete a form.

Do your research.

Before you set up your tour, I recommend going on the University’s website to find out what type of accommodations are offered. If you are not able to locate the accommodations on-line you can call the department directly. The name may not be obvious. Below are some of the names schools’ call the office that administers accommodations:
Equity Learning Center
Access    Academic Center
Access & Equity   Learning Support
Diversity        Academic Support

Learning Disabilities Special Programs
Learning Resource Center Academic Success Center

Click on the link below and check out some colleges that have well established programs for students with learning disabilities.

Photo from: Pexels

Bestcollegesonline.com

Social Skills Development

Posted on November 2, 2018March 5, 2020

Early on in development, most children learn to coordinate their own body and mind, as well as interpret the words and actions of others to participate with increasing sophistication in order to communicate. As is true with walking, sometimes, the skill needs a little bit more help with its development. The same is true for social skills. Some kids can just do it, and some need some coaching.Social skills groups can offer many benefits for some children. However, sometimes they are not

the most effective for children. But through individual identification of the different skills with your child’s therapist, different social skills can be worked on and mastered. Sometimes, social skills groups can be overwhelming for a child who is struggling with this area, making generalization of the skills very difficult.

What Are Social Skills, Anyway?
Social skills are those communication, problem-solving, decision making, self-management, and peer relations abilities that allow us to initiate and maintain positive social relationships with others. Deficits or excesses in social behavior interfere with learning, teaching, and social climate. Social competence is linked to peer acceptance, teacher acceptance, inclusion success, and post school success.Playdates?
Although they sound like a luxury, it’s important It is important for parents to bring their infants and toddlers together with other children. Even though the interactions may seem parallel at first, that’s okay.

As toddlers and up until kindergarten, children gain most of their skills through playing. This is how they explore the world around them and make sense of routines and relationships. It is up to you as a parent to reinforce those skills by giving your child positive feedback. This helps her feel confident and secure.

Give Those Feelings a Name
We are not born knowing what we feel or what these feelings are called. Even at age one, when your child does not have a big vocabulary, label your child’s feelings and mirror their emotions with your own facial expressions and body language.

Through your discussion of how they feel, they begin to learn words associated with those feelings and can later use those words to talk out their feelings. This will help them transition to talking about feelings instead of acting out their frustrations. To teach emotions, Michelle Garcia Winner’s Social Thinking strategy, titled “Zones of Regulation” teaches children to recognize their thoughts and feelings in a given situation.

Michelle Garcia Winner is the CEO and creator of Social Thinking, a program created to help children and well as adults develop their social communication skills. She emphasizes learning effective communication skills by managing multiple systems at once: mind, body, eyes, and language. The importance is simultaneously engaging all these systems and interpret not only our own responses, but interpret the same systems of others as well.

The Four Steps of Communication

Step 1: Think about other people’s thoughts and feelings as well as your own.

To successfully communicate, we have to take the perspective(s) of the other person with whom we are communicating. Effective communication requires all participants to be thinking (most of the time) about the same topic/idea and for the thoughts to stay connected (even if not mutually agreed upon) throughout the communicative exchange.

Step 2: Establish physical presence; enter with your body attuned to the group.

Effective communication typically requires people to not only stand about one arm’s length of each other (physical proximity) but to also have a physical stance/posture that conveys a willingness to interact and an emotional calm.

Many children with a disability enter a social situation with a rigid stance and this is interpreted by others as being unfriendly or uncomfortable when approaching other people. It’s important that we teach not only about physical proximity but also about physical relaxation when communicating with others. Being relaxed is social situations gives others comfortable feelings and good thoughts about us!

Step 3: Think with your eyes.

Teaching eye contact from a purely physical, functional perspective can hurt as much as help children in social situations. Instead, we need to teach students to “think with their eyes” – meaning, to use their eyes enough to monitor how people are feeling and what they may be thinking (based on what they are looking at) during social encounters. Using our eyes can help children understand when and how to approach a conversation with a group of people. If two grown-ups are having a conversation and the child interrupts, it can be helpful to have the child use this technique to understand the social situation. When it is appropriate to engage in conversation, we then watch others’ eyes to gauge conversation direction and flow and follow who is speaking to whom.

Step 4: Use your words to relate to others.

Language is the way we share our thoughts with others. Just as in Step #1 we try to keep our thoughts connected while communicating together, we also must keep our language connected to whatever is being discussed. Those who don’t keep their language “on topic” are considered self-centered, aloof, unfriendly and/or ineffective in their communicative attempts. We must teach students communication strategies such as asking questions, adding a thought, showing interest, etc. based on the conversation at hand and what they think other people are thinking about.

Start to use these basic strategies with your child to enhance their executive functioning and build meaningful connections with others!

How to Talk to Your Child About Bullying

Posted on October 3, 2018March 5, 2020

During the first week of October, schools across the country observe the “Week of Respect” or anti-bullying week. As we all know, bullying is one person acting towards another person with the intent to cause harm – physical or emotional. More recently, intentional exclusion, is another form of bullying, even termed ‘soft’ bullying. Bullying is not a new phenomenon and has been a part of playground life since the beginning of time, but over time, things got complicated, and especially with the use of social media by our children.

As parents, we all fear that our child is being bullied, and we don’t know about it. Our fear is that our child may be suffering in silence. Even though our goal for our children is to take pride in who they are, to have friends, and be able to speak up for themselves with confidence, but it’s not always that simple.

Teenagers, in middle or high school, may not want to share what’s going on for fear of parents getting involved and making it worse. For our younger children, in elementary school, we want our children to understand that someone else’s view of them is not accurate, and only one person’s opinion.

“You do not have to be everyone’s friend and Everyone Is Not Your Friend”
How much time does your adolescent spend checking his likes on his latest post on Instagram? I’m going to guess quite a bit. Sadly, our children give a great deal of credence to the number of followers and likes they have.

It’s difficult to change their minds, but it is important to emphasize to your child that if there are ‘ugly’ comments on their posts, they need to share this with you. Or, if they see those nasty comments on someone else’s posts that are hurtful, to share that with you or their guidance counselor. In general, if you suspect your child is being bullied, contact your school’s guidance counselor and/or principal/vice principal. Chances are, your child is not the only one being affected.

As a parent, please make it a point to have your child’s login and password to their social media channels. As often as you can, log in as your child and see what is being posted. If, over time, you notice that the number of posts they make is decreasing, changes are that they have created another account, and it’s time to gain the login and password for that account too! Have candid conversations with your child about how she is using social media, what she likes about it and what she doesn’t like about it.

For our elementary aged children, they believe that they ‘should’ be friends with everyone, just as they were in preschool and in kindergarten. Do you remember when every single child in the class was invited to the birthday party? With time, our children develop their personalities, their preferences, and their friendships. Emphasize that it’s okay if not every child in their class is their friend, but it’s not okay to be mean. Ask your child several times each week who they are sitting next to at lunch time and who they are playing with at recess. You will begin to hear their preferences, and also about negative interactions between your child and other children, as well between other children. If your child (or another child) is being bullied, talk to your child’s teacher and guidance counselor.

Teach about the “Bystander Effect”
The “Bystander Effect” was coined after Kitty Genovese was murdered in a crowd of people, without anyone intervening. Can you imagine? An entire crowd witnessed a murder and nobody did anything?!?

The same thing happens when our children witness bullying. They get scared and don’t want to be the target of it. So, they look away or walk away because nobody really knows how to respond.

For our elementary school children, we want them to recognize what is happening and to be able to pull the child who is being bullied away from the situation (e.g., Samamtha, let me show you that preying mantis over there!”). If your child is not that courageous (and many are not), we want to teach them to find an adult to help.

With our adolescents, we hope that they will also help an acquaintance/friend who is being bullied by making a blanket statement like, “Hey, Mr. XX is looking for you. Come on, I’ll go with you.” This makes it less likely that the ‘upstander’ (not a bystander) isn’t the next victim of the bullying, and it serves as a distractor for the child who is being bullied as well as the bully.

“Why are people mean?”
That’s a tough question to answer as a parent. Where do you even begin? One place to begin is to help your child understand that mean people are mean because they feel badly about themselves. So, they take out their frustration by putting down other people. In a strange way, it makes them feel better.

Most times, our children feel like they are the weaker person, that there is something wrong with them and that’s why they are being bullied. They believe what the bully says and point out. Most likely, the bully is pointing out things that he/she feels insecure about or is jealous about in him/herself. Having an understanding of ‘why’ makes it easier to distance the negativity from one’s self esteem.

Look for Kindness
Mr. Fred Rogers always recommended that in a time of crisis, “look for the helpers. You can always find people who are helping”. This can be applied to bullying. Ask children about who was being kind to them. How were they being kind and to focus on those people. This helps children build trust with their environment and take in positive feedback.

This can also work for our elementary aged children and our teens. Point out who the ‘nice’ kids are. Who do they like hanging out with and why, and to make sure that they are displaying that kindness back into their environment. Just like negativity breeds more negativity, kindness does breed more kindness. Our human nature is one of wanting to belong and be connected, and we are drawn to that positivity. So by putting out acceptance, we hope that the circle of kindness and acceptance will continue to grow so that the bullies become the minority.

References
Winfrey, M. S. (2012). The bystander effect: Would you speak up? Pembroke, NC: University of North Carolina at Pembroke.

Winner, M. G. (2007). Social behavior mapping: Connecting behavior, emotions and consequences across the day. San Jose, CA: Think Social Pub.

Homework Tips for the New School Year

Posted on October 1, 2018March 5, 2020

A new school year brings promise.

Freshly sharpened pencils, pointy clean crayons, freshly waxed floors in the classroom, and an excitement for all that is new! Even homework can be exciting within the first two weeks of school, and then the boredom and resistance kicks in.

If your house is anything like mine, week three of the school year marks the official end of the honeymoon period, and the disenchantment with the school year begins.

In an effort to nurture the enthusiasm and keep the summer vibe going, I have a few strategies to help your children get through homework quickly, and hopefully, painlessly for you!

Break Time
Once our kids get home from school, they have been “on” for hours. They have been trying to pay attention, follow directions, interact with their friends, problem solve, defend, and find a break since they saw you in the morning.

Many of our kids, especially those with Sensory Processing Disorders, Anxiety, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), just need a break. For some kids, they want to dive into their homework and get it done.

There is no right way to do this – it’s about preference. In my home, my son needs a 30-45 minute break. My daughter likes to get her homework done as soon as she walks in through the door. So, we set a timer – whether using Alexa, your microwave, or your good ole fashioned egg timer. Set it, and when it rings, break time is over.
Whichever option you choose, keep it consistent from day to day with the routine of taking a break first or not and starting homework at the same time.

Assess It
When our kids think about homework, the sheer volume or multiple steps of it can be overwhelming and will lead to resistance, tears, and meltdowns. In an effort to avoid that, ask your child, “What’s for homework tonight?”

Get into the routine of going over the night’s assignments and tasks – from required signatures on permission slips, studying for a quiz, or reading a chapter in a book. Write it all down. Then, assess: what do I want to finish first? The easiest or the hardest assignment? The quickest or the longest assignment?

Make that decision for the night and then number assignments in the order for them to be completed. As your child completes items from the list, cross them off; don’t erase, but rather cross off. As more gets done, your child’s sense of accomplishment and the “I can” factor becomes stronger and homework becomes do-able rather than painful.

Build in Down Time
By the time your child gets through the school day, homework, and activities, they are in need of a break. Make sure to build in down time each night so that your child has a chance to decompress and come down from the day.

This is the time when it’s okay to play on the computer, video games, or iPad. The time can be limited to 30, 45, or 60 minutes – and screen time should not be the last thing that your child looks at before bed. Reading a book, working on a puzzle, or another quiet activity is best to give your child’s body the signal that the day is over and it’s time to quiet down for bed.

My philosophy has always been “work hard, play hard,” and the students I work with are surprised when I tell them, “I would like for you to get your work done as quickly as you can so that you can have your down time.”

Down time is not a luxury, but rather a necessity for our children and for us, as their parents. Unfortunately, we are stuck in the routine of run, run, run – and then sleep. Our sleep is not restful and our minds are still running even though our bodies have technically stopped.

With the new school year upon us, I hope these strategies bring you some comfort that homework does not have to be a struggle. Set up a new plan with your child or children and use it consistently throughout the month of September.

Assess at the end of the month – if certain aspects are not working, change them. If certain routines are keeping you sane, keep using them.

The key is consistency and assessing what is and is not working. When your child is old enough, have him set up this plan with you, and reassess together.

In the meantime, enjoy the rest of the summer – watch a sunset, feel the sand between your toes, walk barefoot in the grass, and let the sun shine on your face!

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