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Anxiety and Friendships: New School Year, Fresh Start

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Anxiety and Friendships: New School Year, Fresh Start

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

The start of the school year can breed anxiety for parents of anxious children, teens, and young adults. Although your child may want and seek and desire friendships, this may be an area that needs some coaching with the fresh start of a new school year.

So, what are you, as the parent of an anxious child, teen, or young adult, to do in an effort to help your child learn how to connect with other same-aged peers, build the skills to manage situations that don’t go their way, and maintain friendships over time? This is a difficult task because you hurt for your child when you see conflicts, when you hear words like, “She’s being mean to me,” when you notice that your and your child’s invitations for playdates are not being answered or reciprocated, or when you find that your teen or young adult is not being included in social plans.

Keep Your Ears Open

For young children (elementary-aged), I encourage parents to invite a friend over to play and to keep a listening ear from the next room. That is, take note of how your child interacts with his peers. For example, is your child bossy? Or, is your child quickly backing down to what the other child wants to do but then voicing to you later that the playdate was not fun because they did not get to play the games they wanted?

Listen to how your child manages negotiations and compromises, if at all. Are you hearing, “If you don’t play this game with me, then you’re not my friend”? Take note of which games your child enjoys and if the other child is joining them.

All of this information gives you insight into how your child is interacting with other children when you are not within earshot. You are also gaining valuable information about your child’s preferences, conflict resolution skills, and social personality. And try to maintain a schedule of one playdate per week, as friendships are built outside of school. Although this is difficult for working parents, make it a point to organize one social plan for each of your children per week.

For older children (middle school and older), the car is a great place to get a vibe check on what’s happening in your pre-teen and teen’s social world. Volunteer to drive your child and friends around and let the conversations go. The quieter you are in the driver’s seat, the more they forget you’re there and speak openly and candidly.

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Setting A Routine for Success at School

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Setting a Routine for Success at School

written by Neetika Prabhakar, posted on PBS

We’ve all been there. Sometimes, it’s just not easy to get up and get going in the morning. For young children who are still developing the ability to cope with new situations, preparing to have a successful day at school can feel overwhelming. Yet, there are tactics parents can use to help their kids leave the house feeling healthy, confident, and energized. You can reduce your child’s anxiety and help them feel empowered for success by establishing a predictable routine. Following a schedule each day makes children feel safer and happier, which often leads to better behavior and cooperation. When they know what to expect, and what’s expected of them, kids feel more comfortable and confident about what lies ahead.

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Five Ways to Beat Back-to-School Jitters

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Five Ways to Beat Back-to-School Jitters

written by Katie Hurley, LCSW, posted on PBS

It’s that time of year again: Summer is winding down and families are preparing for the new school year. Whether your child is headed to kindergarten for the first time or returning for another year of preschool, the transition from summer to school is packed with emotions.

It’s perfectly natural for even the most enthusiastic young learner to feel nervous and uncertain. A new school year comes with a new classroom, a new teacher and new classmates. The classroom rules and routines are likely to change, as are the behavioral and academic expectations. It’s a lot to manage when you’re young.

Many children struggle to find the words to describe how they’re feeling when under stress, so it’s important to watch for behavioral changes. You know your child’s baseline. If your child normally falls asleep easily and sleeps through the night, but begins to struggle with bedtime or has nightmares or night wakings as the school year approaches, this is a good indicator that your child is experiencing anxiety. Other signs of stress can include the following:

  • Sleep disturbance
  • Changes in eating habits
  • Mood changes
  • Clingy behavior
  • Increased frustration
  • Frequent meltdowns
  • Decreased social interactions
  • Refusal to engage in normal daily activities

While many children will enter the first day of school without a worry, it does help to spend time focusing on the emotional needs of your child as the transition approaches. Take these steps to help your child prepare for a new school year.

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High school teacher reveals why it is essential for parents to let kids FAIL Once

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High school teacher reveals why it is essential for parents to let kids FAIL Once

written by LOUISE CHEER FOR DAILYMAIL.COM, posted on Daily Mail UK

 

A Michigan high school teacher has revealed why it’s important for parents to let their children fail at least once.

Angela Repke wrote for Insider that it may be hard for parents to see their offspring ‘trip on their faces,’ but she believed that it was an important lesson to experience.

‘The teens I’ve taught are caught in a generation of instant gratification, thanks to the smartphones adhered to their hands. This connects to instant success, too. They’ve forgotten how to work hard on a paper and revise it or study at length for a biology exam,’ she said.

‘To prevent their children from failing, some parents try to save them. Sometimes this looks like a parent paying for a tutor, completing an assignment for their child, or even applying an immense amount of pressure on their child to ensure they always get stellar grades.’

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Preparing for Success: How Technology Can Enhance Your Test Preparation Efforts

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Preparing for Success: How Technology Can Enhance Your Test Preparation Efforts

written by Jennifer Woods

Preparing for tests and exams can be a daunting task, particularly for young learners who may feel nervous about their abilities. However, with the right tools and resources at hand, it is possible to approach test prep with confidence and ease. One of the most helpful tools available today is technology, which offers a wide range of resources that can make test prep more efficient, effective, and even enjoyable.
In this article, we will explore some of the ways that technology can enhance your test preparation efforts, making studying easier and more engaging for young learners.

Interactive Practice Tests
Most people agree that practice tests are a valuable tool when preparing for exams, as they help learners become familiar with the types of questions they will encounter and the format of the test itself.
Interactive practice tests take this one step further by providing learners with immediate feedback on their answers, enabling them to identify areas where they need to improve. Platforms like Khan Academy, Quizlet, and RiSE+ offer a multitude of practice tests and questions for learners of all ages, from elementary school through high school and beyond.

Learning Apps
Another way that technology can enhance test prep is through learning apps. These apps provide learners with a fun and engaging way to practice key skills, such as maths, reading, and writing.
Many learning apps are gamified, making the process of learning feel like play. For example, apps like Duolingo offer engaging language practice in bite-sized chunks, while maths apps like Prodigy Math Game make maths practice more enjoyable than ever before.

Online Tutors

While classroom or in-person tutoring is an effective way to boost learning, online tutoring is becoming increasingly popular among learners of all ages. Young learners can benefit from working with online tutors who can provide personalized attention and targeted support. Platforms like VIPKid, Chegg, and Study.com offer access to online tutors who can help learners prepare for specific tests or provide extra support with homework and assignments.

Online Resources and Tools
The internet itself is a powerful tool for learners, providing access to a vast array of resources that can be used to support test prep efforts. From online textbooks and study guides to educational videos and interactive simulations, the internet offers a wealth of information that can help learners understand and master key concepts. Many of these resources are free and easily accessible, making it easier than ever for young learners to learn at their own pace and in their way.

Collaborative Learning Platforms
Finally, young learners can benefit from collaborative learning platforms that facilitate communication and interaction between learners. Platforms like Google Classroom, Edmodo, and Canvas provide learners with a centralised place to access and submit assignments, ask questions, and engage with other learners and teachers. Collaborative learning platforms can help young learners feel more connected and engaged in the learning process, which can ultimately lead to better performance on tests and exams.

In Summary
Preparing for tests and exams doesn’t have to be a stressful or overwhelming experience, particularly for young learners who may be new to the process. By leveraging the power of technology, learners can access a wide range of resources and tools that can make test prep more efficient, effective, and even enjoyable.
From interactive practice tests and learning apps to online tutors, online resources and tools, and collaborative learning platforms, technology offers an array of options that can support learners at every stage of the test prep process. Whether you’re preparing for your first spelling test or a high-stakes entrance exam, technology can help you achieve your goals and unlock your full potential.

Homework Help for Reluctant Children

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Homework Help for Reluctant Children

written by Heather Miller, posted on https://www.gse.harvard.edu

It’s hard to fault the child who resists doing homework. After all, she has already put in a long day at school, probably been involved in afterschool activities, and, as the late afternoon spills into evening, now faces a pile of assignments. Parents feel it, too — it’s no one’s favorite time of day.

But despite its bad rap, homework plays an important role in ensuring that students can execute tasks independently. When it’s thoughtfully assigned, homework provides deeper engagement with material introduced in class. And even when it’s “just” worksheets, homework can build the automatic habits and the basic skills required to tackle more interesting endeavors. Finally, homework is a nightly test of grit. Adult life brings its share of tasks that are both compulsory and unenjoyable. Developing the discipline to fulfill our responsibilities, regardless of whether they thrill us, begins in middle childhood.

So how to help the avoidant child embrace the challenge, rather than resist it?

The first step, especially with kids 13 and under, is to have them do their homework at a communal space, like a dining room or kitchen table. If other children are in the home, they can all do their homework at the same table, and the parent can sit nearby to support the work effort. This alleviates some of the loneliness a reluctant child might associate with assignments. The alternative — doing homework at a bedroom desk — can result in the child guiltily avoiding the work for as long as possible. Like all forms of procrastination, this has the effect of making the entire process take much longer than it needs to.

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New School Year, New Executive Functioning Strategies

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New School Year, New Executive Functioning Strategies

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, published on Psychology Today

The new school year has begun and is beginning to find its swing. Our kids are taking tests and quizzes, they’re assigned papers and projects. It’s happening! Summer is in the distance, and the fall crisp weather is officially here.

As parents, we often think about how to help our children who struggle with poor executive functioning skills such as time management, prioritization, starting a task, completing a task, and keeping school materials organized so they can find their assignments and completed work. Our kids have multiple classes, activities, and daily life tasks that can take a child with attention-deficit disorder/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or weaker executive functioning skills and make life feel like a hot mess, for both parent and child.

As an executive functioning coach, I offer many strategies to help our children and teens get their work done so that they can have their downtime to decompress at the end of each day. It’s unrealistic to believe that our children can go-go-go without a break—the same goes for adults. I often pose it as the following, which seems to resonate: “The goal is to get your work done so you can play and rest. You need to have that time so you are ready for the next day.”

With that said, I encourage parents to enroll their child in no more than one activity per child per season to find a balance among extracurricular activities, academics, and social and family life.

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The Great Unmasking

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The Great Unmasking

by Dr. Liz Matheis

As a mother and psychologist, I have actively been a part of the incredibly damaging impact of masks and virtual learning. The number of our children, teens and young adults who have been and continue to suffer is immense and heartbreaking. Our children have been living in an upside-down world with significant change for a prolonged period of time and the negative effects are  loud and clear right now.

In speaking with and working with many teens during this pandemic, I have heard the following about their experience with school:

  • Everyday feels the same
  • It’s horrible
  • It’s boring
  • I have headaches from staring at my computer all day
  • I didn’t even change my clothes. I was in pajamas all day
  • I am distracted
  • I’m not listening to any lesson or discussion
  • It’s really easy to tune out and nobody will know
  • In the classroom, if I lose focus, my teacher will notice
  • There is no accountability when I’m home
  • I’m not seeing friends
  • I’m not talking to friends
  • I’m sad because I can’t see my friends
  • There’s no spontaneity
  • I miss spontaneous gatherings and plans
  • I missed my graduation
  • I missed my prom
  • I missed my field trips
  • I missed having my birthday party

These are some big thoughts from our children who are begging for the return of our pre-pandemic life. Our children are feeling anxious, depressed, socially anxious and awkward more so than ever. Their attention and focus are poor, and their study skills are almost non-existent. We have had to start from the beginning as of September 2021. One and a half years of lost instruction, lost skills, lost interactions and lost spontaneity of life.

Keep Schools Open

Please, keep the doors open to our schools. As much as is humanly possible, avoid virtual learning. It’s creating flashbacks, sadness and anxiety that started in 2020 and continues to haunt us now.  Keep kids in school so they can sit in the classroom, receive instruction face to face, walk through the school halls, and scurry when the bell rings. 

Keep the Masks Off!

I’m speaking from a focus on mental health. Masks don’t allow us to see each other’s gentle eye expressions and squints that match a scrunchy nose and smiling mouth. We can’t see each other’s pout, anger, contentment, sadness, or whatever may come. Our kids can’t see their teacher’s facial expressions either which is a huge part of academic instruction. When a teacher is excited about a topic, the body language and matching facial expressions are remembered strongly and make an impact on learning.  

Within the classroom, teachers can’t always tell who is speaking or what is being said because they can’t see each other’s mouths while we speak. There is a disconnect between our eyes and ears in that a great deal of conversation is matching the words that are coming out of another person’s mouth with the sound of them. We are missing big chunks of information that is a natural part of our give and take interactions between humans.

Our children also need to sit next to each other, whisper secrets, sit in huddles, walk side by side. Our kids need that closeness and sensory feedback to maintain their emotional well-being. So much of that has been taken away and it’s starting to show.

Put Away the Computers 

Please, no more learning through computers. Turn them off as much as possible. Revert back to pencil and paper. Write on the board or the smartboard. Work on projects in groups. Create posterboard or PowerPoint presentations.  But, please, shut it down and allow the interactions to be more human based. More conversation, discussion, sharing ideas and experiences. Close the laptop and look at each other.  

Virtual learning doesn’t work. I know this firsthand. My 9-year-old (now in 3rd grade) could, in theory, return to first grade because this hasn’t worked. Google forms and uploading documents isn’t education. It’s unnatural. My 13-year-old doesn’t know how to study for a test. My 15-year-old is finally learning how to manage the multiple moving parts of being in high school.  

The other thing that has happened is our children have forgotten how to take notes, study for tests, and keep track of their assignments. Their executive functioning skills haven’t been developed.

To no fault of anyone anywhere, pandemic learning hasn’t been effective. Our children will benefit academically, emotionally, socially and behaviorally if they can be in school, without masks and without computers.

What is Dyslexia?

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What is Dyslexia?

written by Heidi Borst, published on www.usnews.com

Children who have difficulty sounding out words, struggle to learn letter names and sounds, or become easily frustrated by reading activities may be having more problems than most students when learning to read. Those can be signs of dyslexia, one of the most common learning differences in America.

Dyslexia is a neurologically based learning disability marked by difficulties with decoding and reading comprehension. An estimated 1 in 5 Americans have dyslexia, representing as many as 90% of all people with learning disabilities, according to the Yale Center for Dyslexia and Creativity.

Rebecca Mannis, a learning specialist and founder of Ivy Prep Learning Center in New York, says dyslexia can manifest at different times depending on the specific type of dyslexia, the student’s learning profile and their school and family life.

“Children who have significant difficulty with early language development and who have trouble telling apart sounds, called a phonological deficit, represent the most common subtype of dyslexia,” Mannis wrote in an email. Dyslexia may be identified early in these children, she says, because they have difficulty learning sound-symbol relationships.

“On the other hand, a bright, verbal child who has more difficulty with reading fluency or remembering sight words that can’t be decoded or sounded out, such as the words ‘thought’ or ‘would,’ may be able to compensate in early years,” Mannis says. Cases like that may go undetected until middle school or even high school or college.

Education experts say there are many ways parents can help children with dyslexia, starting with recognizing common signs and taking action.
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An Open Letter to Administrators on the Upcoming School Year

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An Open Letter to Administrators on the Upcoming School Year

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, published on Psychology Today

Dear school administrators,

I want to start by saying this is not a letter to place blame or fault. It is a letter to give you perspective about my children and many other children who returned to school in September 2021.

From March 2020 to June 2021, many of these children were on an educational hiatus. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that you didn’t try, or that you didn’t struggle to make difficult decisions every day to keep school doors open and children safe. I thank you because I know you didn’t sleep, felt incredibly distressed, and worried a great deal—and yet you showed up every day.

How many pandemics have we lived through before this? For the vast majority of us, the answer is none. We all did the best that we could to balance the demands of our children, our jobs, and our mental health. Many of you also have children of your own. The demand was unbearable and again, I thank you.

Kudos to all of us that have made it this far. But I want to give you a little insight and feedback about why so many children are struggling so much this school year. Some are failing, some are falling behind, some don’t care, and many care, but don’t understand why they are failing or why school is so difficult this year.

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"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
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"Thank you, Dr. Liz. Although we have told you countless times, it will never feel enough. You have listened when J could barely speak and continued to listen when he was sad, angry and confused. You've challenged him and directed us in our roles as parents. You've helped J face his fears while the list evolved and changed, and yet you've stayed committed to 'the course.' We pray that your children realize that time away from them is spent helping children learn and that vulnerability is a sign of strength and bravery."
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"My son was admitted to an Ivy League school when only 2 years ago, you assessed him and saw his struggles, his Dyslexia. We are grateful that he no longer has to carry that deep feeling of inadequacy or shame that must have kept him so self conscious and from reaching his potential. He has the PERFECT program for him. He has A's in high math and economics. He became a Merit Scholar, a Boys State legislature, the HEAD captain of the football team and help a job ALL while studying and managing his classes and disability. I am PROUD of you, a young doctor, who knows and sees the vulnerability of children and helps them recognize "it's NO big deal" God bless."
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