How Parents Can Help Teens Put Down Their Phones

Posted on March 6, 2023March 3, 2023

How Parents Can Help Teens Put Down Their Phones

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

Many of today’s teens spend a lot of time on, with, or near their phones. How many times have you attempted to have a conversation with your child, only to realize that they are only half-listening?

As parents, it can be frustrating, even alarming, to watch our kids being constantly distracted by the notifications that are dinging and popping up on their screens, seemingly making it impossible to focus on any one thing. What’s happening here?

A Failure to Focus

As an executive functioning coach, I find that many of my teen and young adult clients find it difficult to start and finish tasks—often because they are distracted by the notifications that pop up on their phone, or struggle to resist the urge to reach for it when an assignment becomes challenging to complete. In more serious cases, kids struggle not just to start and finish homework but also to take a shower, empty the dishwasher, or do many other tasks that require sustained attention to get through.

These children often have to regroup and try to remember where they left off with an assignment or a task once they are interrupted. As a result, many students and children appear more inattentive, or even unable to focus for longer than a few minutes. Many kids are using their time inefficiently, resulting in a decline in their ability to follow a day’s routine or complete school-related tasks. Oftentimes, this results in later bedtimes and a great deal of fatigue in the morning and throughout the day.

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"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"

- Julie C.

"Dr. Matheis has a remarkable ability to understand the unique needs of her patients and address them constructively. She builds strong, meaningful relationships with patients and their families, encouraging trust and collaboration. When working with my son who struggles with autism-related anxiety, she created an environment in which he was able to calm down and open up to her in ways I had not seen before. She was able to reach him and helped him work through his crisis/problem. Most importantly, she empowered him to move forward."

- N.L.

"Dr. Matheis is amazing. She has tremendous resources and loads of energy. She is not willing to accept anything less than the most effective results for her clients. She made me feel as if my son was her top priority throughout the entire process. I would, without reservation, give her my highest recommendations. Thank you, Dr. Matheis!"

- Anonymous

"Dr. Matheis has an amazing ability to read kids and connect with them. She has been an invaluable resource for our family over the past several years and has helped us with everything from educational consulting, to uncovering diagnoses as well as family therapy. Working with Dr. Matheis never feels clinical and most importantly, our children love and trust her. We can not thank you enough Dr. Liz!"

- Anonymous

"My teenage son had been seeing Dr. Matheis through his senior year of high school, as he was only diagnosed with ADHD at 16 years old. Dr. Matheis came highly recommended from our pediatrician and she has done wonders for our son as well as our family, navigating new ways for him to deal with his diagnosis without the use of medication. She taught him ways to organize himself and even when something did not work for him, she patiently continued teaching him new ways to keep himself on track. She has also helped us as parents to understand how his mind works so that we did not continue to blame his lack of focus on him, rather on his unique way of thinking. Thank you Dr. Matheis!!!!"

- LG

"Dr. Liz is the best! Our family was directed to her by our Pediatrician to assist with figuring out severe mood changes, severe anxiety, strange new fears and food aversion that had come onto one of our children literally overnight. After just a couple of visits, she suggested that the issues may actually be rooted in a physical issue and suggested we immediately take our child to be swabbed for strep, because Dr. Liz suspected PANDAS (a pediatric autoimmune disorder brought on by strep). The same Pediatrician that suggested Dr. Liz would not do the swab (they do not believe in PANDAS and we no longer go there) but I took my child to my doctor who did the swab and it was positive for strep. When our child went on antibiotics, within 24 hours all symptoms went away and our child was back :-) Dr. Liz then recommended a PANDAS specialist who helped us and our child is in complete remission and is happy and healthy. We are incredibly grateful to Dr. Liz for her knowledge of all things, even the most remote and unusual and for helping us so much! Thank you!"

- Anonymous

"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"

- Anonymous

"Thank you, Dr. Liz. Although we have told you countless times, it will never feel enough. You have listened when J could barely speak and continued to listen when he was sad, angry and confused. You've challenged him and directed us in our roles as parents. You've helped J face his fears while the list evolved and changed, and yet you've stayed committed to 'the course.' We pray that your children realize that time away from them is spent helping children learn and that vulnerability is a sign of strength and bravery."

- June I

"My son was admitted to an Ivy League school when only 2 years ago, you assessed him and saw his struggles, his Dyslexia. We are grateful that he no longer has to carry that deep feeling of inadequacy or shame that must have kept him so self conscious and from reaching his potential. He has the PERFECT program for him. He has A's in high math and economics. He became a Merit Scholar, a Boys State legislature, the HEAD captain of the football team and help a job ALL while studying and managing his classes and disability. I am PROUD of you, a young doctor, who knows and sees the vulnerability of children and helps them recognize "it's NO big deal" God bless."

- Anonymous

How Parents Can Help Teens Put Down Their Phones

How Parents Can Help Teens Put Down Their Phones

A Failure to Focus

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