Parenting is the Hardest Job I’ve Ever Had
written by Dr. Liz Nissim, posted on Psychology Today
Parenting is the best and the hardest job I’ve ever had. It’s a 24-7 job, even when your children are off to college or living independently. After the physical care is done and our children become more independent, the emotional care, coaching, and mentoring continue for a long time. The emotional and mental toll is beyond exhausting, even without counting the physical toll. And yet, it is a journey we take where we are no longer the same people we were when we started this parenting gig.
Let’s examine why parenting is so tough, the struggles that come with it, and some ways to work through those tough parts.
The Many Emotions of Parenthood
From the moment we are deemed parents, the worry begins. How many parents worried, while in utero, that their child wasn’t moving enough, wasn’t large enough, or hadn’t formed all their body parts? Do you remember the panic that came with driving home with your first child from the hospital? And how about that first night at home with your infant, who made sounds that you didn’t understand? Do you remember how we counted the number of wet and dirty diapers and the number of ounces that our child consumed? Every milestone, every sniffle, every injury was felt on a deep level.
Balancing the strong emotions that come with having a little (or big) human roam the earth with the potential for hurt (physical or emotional) is a constant battle. One moment, you’re filled with pride as your child takes their first step; the next, you’re sitting with the guilt of losing your cool or overreacting to your child.
Please give yourself grace and practice self-compassion. You are a human managing many parts of life while also trying to grow another human in the best way you know how. Find a trusted group of parents and share your experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Almost 100 percent of the time, you will find you are not alone, and you’ll find relief when another parent proclaims, “Thank goodness, I’m not alone in that! You too? Now I feel better.” If you’re struggling with a strong-willed child or feel unsure how to navigate certain issues, seek parent coaching with a therapist.
The To-Do List that Never Ends
When I think of the list of things we manage as parents daily, I get tired of enumerating—meals, laundry, schoolwork, birthday parties, play dates, extracurricular activities, and doctor’s appointments.
If you’re a working parent, the list of responsibilities is enormous and the time to complete them seems very small. This combination of “so much to do with so little time” can lead to burnout and a constant feeling of not doing enough or being enough.