Parents, ’tis the Season To Give Back to Thyself

Posted on December 11, 2017March 7, 2020

This blog has been prepared for our readers by Chrissy Sunberg, M.Ed., AAC, our In-Home ADHD Coach and Special Education Teacher. She encourages parents to be kind to yourselves, as we bust our butts each day to manage the multiple aspects of work, life, family, school, activities, friendships, and all the other details of daily life.

Let’s hear it for the mother’s and father’s that work hard each day and night so that their children with learning differences can succeed socially, academically and emotionally. This one is for you. But, in the midst of your everyday life management, how are you taking care of yourselves and recharging your batteries so that you don’t burn out? I’m sure you did the laundry so that your daughter can have her uniform ready for her third game this week. And I know you will be there cheering her team on. I’m sure you took time out of your day to write another e-mail to the occupational therapist, touched base with the ADHD coach and I’m pretty sure you even had a meeting at the school with your son’s teachers. Oh wait a minute, you also went to work today!

This is just an average day for a parent that has a child with learning differences. It can be exhausting, leaving you with no time to care for YOU. When I ask my clients, “If you can have just one thing, what would it be?” They all said, “more time in the day to take care of myself!”

A few years ago I decided to practice self-compassion. Self- compassion is giving ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend or a family member.

So, I started practicing yoga and thus began the journey of self-compassion. At first, I felt guilty because I was no longer up and right there in the kitchen ready to take everybody’s orders on a Sunday morning. I got over that quickly and Sunday mornings are NOW my mornings to practice self-compassion. It makes me a better mom and wife.

Give yourself permission to meet your own needs, recognizing that this will not only enhance your quality of life; it will also enhance your ability to be there for those that rely on you, according to Dr. Kristen Neff, author of Self-Compassion.

“Before you assist others, always put your oxygen mask on first.”

This above sentence resonates with me. The flight attendants encourage you to secure your oxygen mask first. If you don’t, you and the person you want to help could both go down. You can start practicing self-compassion and taking care of yourself little by little each day. Read below for some ideas on practicing self-compassion. Remember this is an invitation to read on, and not an obligation.

1. Treat Yourself Like your Best Friend
Practice positive self-talk. Some examples are, I am enough, like any human being, I have strengths and weaknesses, and that’s ok, and I give myself the gift of unconditional love.

2. Comfort your Mind & Body
Eat something healthy and drink your favorite cup of tea. Lie down and rest while watching a feel-good movie. Take a walk or practice yoga. Anything you can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a dose of self-compassion.

3. Schedule your Wellness & Self-Care Appointments
When you leave your next doctor, hair, nail or massage appointment, schedule the next one and add it to your calendar so it’s sure to happen.

4. Set Boundaries on What and How Much You Can Handle
The great power of the two letter word NO! Its ok to say no to your children, your husband, your parents and your friends.

Remember you can’t pour from an empty cup so go fill up your cup with something tasty and enjoy taking care of yourself.

"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"

- Julie C.

"Dr. Matheis has a remarkable ability to understand the unique needs of her patients and address them constructively. She builds strong, meaningful relationships with patients and their families, encouraging trust and collaboration. When working with my son who struggles with autism-related anxiety, she created an environment in which he was able to calm down and open up to her in ways I had not seen before. She was able to reach him and helped him work through his crisis/problem. Most importantly, she empowered him to move forward."

- N.L.

"Dr. Matheis is amazing. She has tremendous resources and loads of energy. She is not willing to accept anything less than the most effective results for her clients. She made me feel as if my son was her top priority throughout the entire process. I would, without reservation, give her my highest recommendations. Thank you, Dr. Matheis!"

- Anonymous

"Dr. Matheis has an amazing ability to read kids and connect with them. She has been an invaluable resource for our family over the past several years and has helped us with everything from educational consulting, to uncovering diagnoses as well as family therapy. Working with Dr. Matheis never feels clinical and most importantly, our children love and trust her. We can not thank you enough Dr. Liz!"

- Anonymous

"My teenage son had been seeing Dr. Matheis through his senior year of high school, as he was only diagnosed with ADHD at 16 years old. Dr. Matheis came highly recommended from our pediatrician and she has done wonders for our son as well as our family, navigating new ways for him to deal with his diagnosis without the use of medication. She taught him ways to organize himself and even when something did not work for him, she patiently continued teaching him new ways to keep himself on track. She has also helped us as parents to understand how his mind works so that we did not continue to blame his lack of focus on him, rather on his unique way of thinking. Thank you Dr. Matheis!!!!"

- LG

"Dr. Liz is the best! Our family was directed to her by our Pediatrician to assist with figuring out severe mood changes, severe anxiety, strange new fears and food aversion that had come onto one of our children literally overnight. After just a couple of visits, she suggested that the issues may actually be rooted in a physical issue and suggested we immediately take our child to be swabbed for strep, because Dr. Liz suspected PANDAS (a pediatric autoimmune disorder brought on by strep). The same Pediatrician that suggested Dr. Liz would not do the swab (they do not believe in PANDAS and we no longer go there) but I took my child to my doctor who did the swab and it was positive for strep. When our child went on antibiotics, within 24 hours all symptoms went away and our child was back :-) Dr. Liz then recommended a PANDAS specialist who helped us and our child is in complete remission and is happy and healthy. We are incredibly grateful to Dr. Liz for her knowledge of all things, even the most remote and unusual and for helping us so much! Thank you!"

- Anonymous

"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"

- Anonymous

"Thank you, Dr. Liz. Although we have told you countless times, it will never feel enough. You have listened when J could barely speak and continued to listen when he was sad, angry and confused. You've challenged him and directed us in our roles as parents. You've helped J face his fears while the list evolved and changed, and yet you've stayed committed to 'the course.' We pray that your children realize that time away from them is spent helping children learn and that vulnerability is a sign of strength and bravery."

- June I

"My son was admitted to an Ivy League school when only 2 years ago, you assessed him and saw his struggles, his Dyslexia. We are grateful that he no longer has to carry that deep feeling of inadequacy or shame that must have kept him so self conscious and from reaching his potential. He has the PERFECT program for him. He has A's in high math and economics. He became a Merit Scholar, a Boys State legislature, the HEAD captain of the football team and help a job ALL while studying and managing his classes and disability. I am PROUD of you, a young doctor, who knows and sees the vulnerability of children and helps them recognize "it's NO big deal" God bless."

- Anonymous

Parents, ’tis the Season To Give Back to Thyself

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