Seven Ways to Inner Peace After Divorce

posted on REL Consultants


Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events you can experience in life.  Even if you have come to a decision together, it is still hard.

It is hard because there is grief. Your dream of a lifelong relationship together has ended. Your expectation that your partner would be there for you for the rest of your life has come to an end.

If you have children, you are now a single parent. How are they going to thrive in this new, unfamiliar environment? Where are they going to live? How will they get to see both parents if it is safe?

Unless you can find a way to share the home you have been living in, you will have increased expenses as you and your partner will each need a place to live.

You have been saving up for some new clothes, a new car or a trip that you now must put on hold because of all the extra expenses.

Your friendships are going to change. Some of the couples you used to enjoy company with may disappear from your life. Friends that you once new together may choose to only stay friends with your ex-partner.

Your favourite pet may go to live with your ex-partner. You will have to divide up all the contents of your home. It won’t be easy.

Here are seven ways to inner peace after a divorce:

1.      Acceptance:

The first step is to accept that your relationship has ended. Finding the courage to accept reality takes time because our psyche is not ready to receive this devastating news.

At first, you may not want to admit to your friends and family that your marriage has ended.

Your friends and family will start to notice that something is wrong.  Eventually, you are going to have to tell them the truth.

Being honest with yourself, friends and family is painful, but it can be so liberating helping you to accept that you are beginning a new time in your life.

When you can accept what has just happened, you can begin the long journey towards healing and new life.

2.      Reach out for Help:

Life after a divorce can feel lonely even when you were escaping from physical or emotional abuse.

After your ex has left, it is time to reach out for help and support.  The people you reach out to could be family members, friends or professionals.

Immediately after your divorce, it is not the time to rebound into a new relationship. You will not have had enough time to heal. You are likely to go back into a relationship with the same issues that ended the marriage you just left.

You might need a team of people to walk with you through this time of chaos.  There is no shame in asking for help.  It is a sign of courage and strength when you can ask for support and encouragement.

3.      Self Care:

Caring for yourself is crucial to your healing.

You may catch yourself being hard on yourself, blaming yourself for ruining your marriage, or you may entirely blame your partner. Blaming is of no use.

It is time to love yourself.  It is time to accept yourself with all your hang-ups and peculiarities that make you the amazing person you are.