The Parents’ Guide to Dismantling Oppositional, Defiant Behavior
written by Sharon Saline, Psy.D, posted on Attitude Magazine
Does your child bristle against limits? Challenge your authority? Resist even reasonable requests? Yes, youthful rebellion travels in lockstep with adolescence, but don’t dismiss your teen’s oppositionality as hormones alone. “No” could be your child’s way of expressing a wide range of emotions they can’t otherwise articulate. It may be their way of setting limits, slowing things down, or expressing their overwhelm.
Defiance is commonly associated with ADHD symptoms like weak impulse control and emotional regulation, but repetitive acts of defiance could be a sign of oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) or pathological demand avoidance (PDA). To determine the root cause of a child’s behavior, we must dig underneath inappropriate words and actions.
Why Is My Child So Defiant?
Many oppositional teens have a loud internal voice that tells them they’re a failure; they can’t do things right; no one likes them; they’re stupid. You name it.
As a parent, you’ve likely witnessed pushback resulting from this internal narrative. Your child’s defiance is an unskilled and ineffective attempt to manage some of these feelings. They’re trying to manage their external surroundings when things feel out of control on the inside.