973.400.8371   Get Started Now!

Parenting

3 Tips for Raising Teens With Special Needs

Posted on

3 Tips for Raising Teens with Special Needs

written by Dr. Liz Nissim-Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

Raising teens is hard. This is the point in time when hormones run high, logic is often low, and eye-rolling is real. Raising a teen with special needs means that you are parenting with your child’s specific needs and parenting in a way that helps them to build their sense of self and sense of self-confidence as a person. Adolescence is a time of immense physical and emotional growth, and wanting independence, and a teen with special needs is no different. Sometimes, the timing may be different, but the process is the same.

Your Teen May Be Ready Before You Are

Your teen may be asking you to acknowledge him or her as an adolescent, but you haven’t progressed to that phase yet in your own mind. Many times, this comes from our own anxiety about what we think our teen can handle and how we don’t want them to be disappointed or embarrassed by their struggles. As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our child; it’s okay for your child to feel frustrated or disappointed. This is what builds grit and resilience.

Close your eyes and think about the image you have of your child – do you still see your cute little boy running around with his Thomas the Tank Engine tucked under his arm? If so, take a good hard look at your teenager, close your eyes, and imprint that image in your mind’s eye. Next time you think about your young man or woman’s capabilities, make sure you are looking at the latter image.

Set the Rules and Stick to Them

Teens thrive on consistency even though they will push your rules and limits hard. Set your rules and household guidelines and consistently hold your child to them. It’s okay to be flexible and make an exception if you feel like your child is having a difficult day or moment but stick to the guidelines that you’ve set. Those guidelines and expectations will be internalized for your child as her or her own.

Next, hold your teen to the same rules as you would for your other children, rather than making exceptions that may appear to be unfair or “easier” for your teen with special needs. Although your teen may point out his or her struggles as a way to get out of being held to certain expectations, you and your teen can figure out a different approach to work towards the goal, but the goal remains the same. This will serve to bolster self-esteem and help him or her to feel like an important and equal member of the family.

Click here to continue reading

Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event

Posted on

Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event

posted on Child Mind

In the wake of a traumatic event, your comfort, support and reassurance can make children feel safe, help them manage their fears, guide them through their grief, and help them recover in a healthy way. This guide was assembled by psychiatrists, psychologists and mental health experts who specialize in crisis situations. It offers simple tips on what to expect, what to do and what to look out for. If you or your children require assistance from a mental health professional, do not hesitate to ask a doctor or other health care provider for a recommendation.

Tips for Helping Children After the Event

  • Make your child feel safe. All children, from toddlers to teens, will benefit from your touch—extra cuddling, hugs or just a reassuring pat on the back. It gives them a feeling of security, which is so important in the aftermath of a frightening or disturbing event. For specific information on what to do and say, see the age-by-age-guide.
  • Act calm. Children look to adults for reassurance after traumatic events have occurred. Do not discuss your anxieties with your children, or when they are around, and be aware of the tone of your voice, as children quickly pick up on anxiety.
  • Maintain routines as much as possible. Amidst chaos and change, routines reassure children that life will be okay again. Try to have regular mealtimes and bedtimes. If you are homeless or temporarily relocated, establish new routines. And stick with the same family rules, such as ones about good behavior.
  • Help children enjoy themselves. Encourage kids to do activities and play with others. The distraction is good for them, and gives them a sense of normalcy.
  • Share information about what happened. It’s always best to learn the details of a traumatic event from a safe, trusted adult. Be brief and honest, and allow children to ask questions. Don’t presume kids are worrying about the same things as adults.
  • Pick good times to talk. Look for natural openings to have a discussion.
  • Prevent or limit exposure to news coverage. This is especially critical with toddlers and school-age children, as seeing disturbing events recounted on TV or in the newspaper or listening to them on the radio can make them seem to be ongoing. Children who believe bad events are temporary can more quickly recover from them.
  • Understand that children cope in different ways. Some might want to spend extra time with friends and relatives; some might want to spend more time alone. Let your child know it is normal to experience anger, guilt and sadness, and to express things in different ways—for example, a person may feel sad but not cry.
  • Listen well. It is important to understand how your child views the situation, and what is confusing or troubling to them. Do not lecture—just be understanding. Let kids know it is OK to tell you how they are feeling at any time.
  • Help children relax with breathing exercises. Breathing becomes shallow when anxiety sets in; deep belly breaths can help children calm down. You can hold a feather or a wad of cotton in front of your child’s mouth and ask them to blow at it, exhaling slowly. Or you can say, “Let’s breathe in slowly while I count to three, then breathe out while I count to three.” Place a stuffed animal or pillow on your child’s belly as they lie down and ask them to breathe in and out slowly and watch the stuffed animal or pillow rise and fall.
  • Acknowledge what your child is feeling. If a child admits to a concern, do not respond, “Oh, don’t be worried,” because they may feel embarrassed or criticized. Simply confirm what you are hearing: “Yes, I can see that you are worried.”
  • Know that it’s okay to answer, “I don’t know.” What children need most is someone whom they trust to listen to their questions, accept their feelings, and be there for them. Don’t worry about knowing exactly the right thing to say — after all, there is no answer that will make everything okay.
Click here to continue reading

Be On Time! Teaching Sequence and Schedules

Posted on

Be On Time! Teaching Sequence and Schedules

written by Donna Goldberg, Sandra Reif M.A., posted on Attitude Magazine

How Do I Get My Child with ADHD Be On Time?

Getting organized and learning to be on time are not innate skills. Any child — with or without ADHD — must create and maintain organizational systems that make sense to him. For children with ADHD, whose ability to organize, prioritize, and manage time is affected by neurological deficiencies, setting up and maintaining organization routines can be quite difficult.

That’s where you come in. Understanding and managing time is a huge part of being organized, so think of yourself as your child’s time management consultant. Work with her to not only master time concepts, but learn to take control of time. Make sure your child is involved when setting up routines so that she will be invested in finding what works best for her. Help your child practice her skills on a regular basis, and follow through with the systems you create together.

Continue for tips on how to help your child with ADHD master time concepts and start on the path to better organization and time management.

Teaching Sequence to Kids with ADHD

Children first learn about time by being exposed to sequence and routine: First you have a bath, then you have a story, then you go to sleep. Eventually, sequences include the concept of before and after: Before dinner you will take a bath. In kindergarten and first grade, teachers often put up a daily schedule and use words and pictures to review the sequence of the day. Reinforce these concepts at home by making sequence clear to your child by giving specific verbal cues — first, next, then, before, after — as you develop your own routines.

Ask questions as you go about your routine: What comes next? Do you remember what you did first? Reinforce sequence comprehension by giving a series of directions using verbal cues, and make it fun (“First do ten jumping jacks, then write your name backwards”) and have your child give you directions as well. Tell him that you are doing this to help him learn how to listen carefully and pick up on important words that tell us what order to do things in. Ask him to point out words that are related to time. A child who masters the concept of sequence will be better able to organize and prioritize tasks down the road.

Click here to continue reading

Self-Love for Single Parents

Posted on

Self-Love for Single Parents: Five Ways to Take Care of Yourself

posted on Share Abode

Self-love for single parents can be hard. Separation and divorce often leave us with damaged self-esteem. Moreover, taking care of a child on your own often means sacrificing your own needs — physical, material, and emotional. But as your child’s role model, it is important for you to show them the importance of confidence and self-care.

Self-love for single parents isn’t a cure for all ills. It can’t magically fix your loneliness, insecurity, depression, anxiety, or resentment. But it is an important ingredient of good parenting.

So here are ways to help you build self-love today:

1.     Practice Emotional Hygiene

Mental hygiene is the practice of maintaining emotional, psychological, and social well-being. There are many ways you can practice emotional hygiene. One way is to reach out to your friends, loved ones, and family members when you are feeling lonely. Make plans to meet for lunch or a virtual coffee date if they are far. This can help against emotional isolation.

2.    Get Enough Sleep

Being exhausted all the time means you are not taking care of yourself enough. This is risky because you can’t take care of your child effectively if you get sick. Additionally, it compromises your psychological and physical health. Eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep.

Click here to continue reading

Resilience Begins with Responsibility: The Power of Service for Kids with ADHD

Posted on

Resilience Begins with Responsibility: The Power of Service for Kids with ADHD

written by Robert Brooks, PhD, posted on Attitude Magazine

Early in my career, when I served as principal of a school in a psychiatric hospital, a student with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) said to me, “Why are you trying to help me? I was born with ADHD. God gave me that, and I can’t learn.”

For many children with ADHD, self-esteem takes a deep dive during the early school years as they begin to compare themselves to neurotypical peers. They experience a loss of motivation, negative attitudes about school and themselves, and other consequences that seep into various aspects of their lives.

One of the most important things we can do for children with ADHD is to help them nurture a positive self-view. Children who feel secure and competent are more likely to thrive in and out of school and be hopeful and resilient in the face of life’s inevitable setbacks.

Focusing on a child’s strengths is key to helping them cultivate a positive self-view, as is creating opportunities for them to help others by activating their strengths.

A Child’s Strengths: Islands of Competence

Something significant happens when parents and teachers start to focus on a child’s strengths and interests – or what I call “islands of competence” – instead of their challenges and so-called deficits. They begin to see features of their child or student that they have not focused upon before and begin to consider more effective ways to address the youngster’s problems both at home and in the classroom.

Click here to continue reading

I Think My Child is Dyslexic. Now What?

Posted on

I Think My Child Is Dyslexic. Now What?

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

First thing first: If you suspect your child has dyslexia, consult with an educational psychologist who can perform a psycho-educational evaluation to look at areas of academic functioning as well as cognitive or intellectual capability.

On par with how your public school district’s child study team will find eligibility, the evaluator will look for an achievement-aptitude discrepancy of a minimum of 19 points or 1 standard deviation. Request that your evaluator further administer a dyslexia assessment, such as the Feifer Assessment of Reading or the Feifer Assessment of Writing to determine the type of dyslexia or dysgraphia. This will further allow your evaluator to determine if your child meets the criteria for a specific learning disability within the area of reading, writing, or reading comprehension.

Once you have this diagnosis, request an initial identification meeting with the school’s child study team. Put your request in writing via an email and/or a physical letter that can be handed to the assistant to the director of special services. (A sample letter can be found at the end of this post.) Request a date stamp and a copy of your stamped letter. Once you are sitting with the child study team for an initial identification meeting, share a copy of the evaluator’s report and request an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) for your child under the eligibility category of “specific learning disability.”

You are then requesting pull-out resource within the areas of reading and writing with a special education teacher who can modify the curriculum for your child. The program that is most empirically validated for dyslexia is known as the Orton Gillingham or Wilson program, a multisensory instructional system.

 

Click here to continue reading

6 Essential Summer Camp Criteria for Kids with ADHD

Posted on

6 Essential Summer Camp Criteria for Kids with ADHD

written by Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW, posted on Attitude Magazine

The right summer camp experience pushes kids in all the right directions — toward new friendships, new challenges, and new perspectives. In my experience, camp can be a tremendous confidence builder for kids with ADHD, who may otherwise automatically say “no” to anything unfamiliar. Campers are often more receptive to stepping outside of their comfort zones when they’re doing so among a supportive peer group of kids with whom they have no social history. The value of this “social reset,” when it goes well, can’t be overstated.

Of course, we can’t assume things will go well.

Sadly, every year I hear from parents of children with hyperactive/impulsive ADHD who were asked to leave camp. In most cases, the overnight camp was not equipped to support the child — and the parents didn’t realize this until it was too late.

Even campers with inattentive ADHD face unfortunate consequences when a camp doesn’t understand ADHD. Often, these kids are not required to participate in activities and, since they rarely cause problems, they end up wandering around or sitting off to the side alone. That is not the point of camp.

When parents ask me how to evaluate whether a summer camp will serve their kids’ needs and interests, I encourage them to favor programs that involve physical activity, which benefits the body and mind. While some kids with ADHD prefer to sit in front of a screen all day, I do not recommend camps that revolve around screen-based activities.

 

6 Questions to Ask a Prospective Camp

Is My Child Dyslexic?

Posted on

Is My Child Dyslexic?

written by Dr. Liz Nissim-Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

It’s March, and you’ve noticed a few things about your child’s reading and writing skills. At your last parent-teacher conference, your child’s teacher recognizes that your child is struggling with reading and writing. What can be further confusing is that your child may have made progress but is still not reading or writing at grade level. Slowly, over the school year, you’ve noticed that your child avoids reading or huffs and puffs when it’s time to sit down and write a response, a short answer, or an essay.

So now what?

We can’t ignore the elephant in the room. The COVID-19 pandemic created a gap in instruction for 1.5 years. Our children did not receive the face-to-face instruction that they needed. Many of the academic struggles that our children were experiencing went unnoticed because how can a teacher recognize reading and writing struggles when assignments are being handed in electronically. There isn’t an observation of the entire child who may have been melting down behind the screen. A great deal of teacher observations and academic instruction were lost during that time.

As our children progressed to the next grade and then the next, parents and teachers began to notice skills that were not at grade level in reading or writing. Our children began to show more behavioral signs, and the natural explanation was that our child was “behavioral” without truly understanding or investigating the underlying roots of those behaviors.

Click here to continue reading

Provider Spotlight: Whole Child Nutrition

Posted on

Provider Spotlight: Whole Child Nutrition

Excerpts taken from Whole Child Nutrition

Kimberly Jaumot, MS, RD is a child nutritionist with extensive work with children of varying needs. With a focus on making small, practical changes to help children have success with food, Kimberly believes that nutrition is an essential component of overall wellbeing.

One of Kimberly’s passions is working with children with sensory processing disorder and on the autism spectrum, understanding the unique challenges that they face when it comes to food. She has experience working with families to develop personalized nutrition plans that are tailored to their child’s specific needs. Kimberly also has experience working with children with Down syndrome, recognizing the important role that nutrition plays in supporting their development and growth.

​Through her work with families, Kimberly emphasizes the importance of making small changes to promote long-term success. She understands that each child’s needs are unique, and works closely with families to develop achievable goals that support their child’s health and wellbeing.

With Kimberly’s guidance, families can feel empowered to make positive changes in their child’s nutrition, which can have a significant impact on their overall health and happiness.

Whole Child Nutrition offers nutrition guidance to children with many different challenges including: autism spectrum disorders, ADHD, Down syndrome and sensory processing disorders.

To contact Kimberly:

Email: kimberly@wholechildnutrition.com

Call: 973-567-3239

Whole Child Nutrition Website

Why Self-Care is Essential to Parenting

Posted on

Why Self-Care is Essential to Parenting

written by  posted on ChildMind

Parents who are the main caregivers for kids with special needs can be at risk for burnout, especially if they don’t have enough support themselves. Symptoms of burnout include anxiety, depression, feeling tired and feeling cut off from other people.

Caring for a child with a developmental or mental health disorder can put a big strain on your marriage or relationship. There can be also be physical risks from the constant stress of taking care of a special needs child. Physical risks from constant stress include things like heart disease, diabetes and cancer.

To avoid burnout, it’s important for parents to take care of their own needs. That includes getting enough sleep and exercise, drinking enough water and spending time away from your child. Parents sometimes feel like they have to do everything by themselves, but getting help from other people is crucial. Support groups, spending time with friends and even just making time for fun activities on your own can all help.

If you don’t have family you can rely on or money to hire babysitters, something called “respite care” can help. Respite care provides temporary help so you can take a break from constant caregiving.

Click here to continue reading
"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Julie C.
"Dr. Matheis has a remarkable ability to understand the unique needs of her patients and address them constructively. She builds strong, meaningful relationships with patients and their families, encouraging trust and collaboration. When working with my son who struggles with autism-related anxiety, she created an environment in which he was able to calm down and open up to her in ways I had not seen before. She was able to reach him and helped him work through his crisis/problem. Most importantly, she empowered him to move forward."
- N.L.
"Dr. Matheis is amazing. She has tremendous resources and loads of energy. She is not willing to accept anything less than the most effective results for her clients. She made me feel as if my son was her top priority throughout the entire process. I would, without reservation, give her my highest recommendations.  Thank you, Dr. Matheis!"
- Anonymous
"Dr. Matheis has an amazing ability to read kids and connect with them. She has been an invaluable resource for our family over the past several years and has helped us with everything from educational consulting, to uncovering diagnoses as well as family therapy. Working with Dr. Matheis never feels clinical and most importantly, our children love and trust her. We can not thank you enough Dr. Liz!"
- Anonymous
"My teenage son had been seeing Dr. Matheis through his senior year of high school, as he was only diagnosed with ADHD at 16 years old.  Dr. Matheis came highly recommended from our pediatrician and she has done wonders for our son as well as our family, navigating new ways for him to deal with his diagnosis without the use of medication.  She taught him ways to organize himself and even when something did not work for him, she patiently continued teaching him new ways to keep himself on track.  She has also helped us as parents to understand how his mind works so that we did not continue to blame his lack of focus on him, rather on his unique way of thinking.  Thank you Dr. Matheis!!!!"
- LG
"Dr. Liz is the best! Our family was directed to her by our Pediatrician to assist with figuring out severe mood changes, severe anxiety, strange new fears and food aversion that had come onto one of our children literally overnight. After just a couple of visits, she suggested that the issues may actually be rooted in a physical issue and suggested we immediately take our child to be swabbed for strep, because Dr. Liz suspected PANDAS (a pediatric autoimmune disorder brought on by strep). The same Pediatrician that suggested Dr. Liz would not do the swab (they do not believe in PANDAS and we no longer go there) but I took my child to my doctor who did the swab and it was positive for strep. When our child went on antibiotics, within 24 hours all symptoms went away and our child was back :-) Dr. Liz then recommended a PANDAS specialist who helped us and our child is in complete remission and is happy and healthy. We are incredibly grateful to Dr. Liz for her knowledge of all things, even the most remote and unusual and for helping us so much! Thank you!"
- Anonymous
"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Anonymous
"Thank you, Dr. Liz. Although we have told you countless times, it will never feel enough. You have listened when J could barely speak and continued to listen when he was sad, angry and confused. You've challenged him and directed us in our roles as parents. You've helped J face his fears while the list evolved and changed, and yet you've stayed committed to 'the course.' We pray that your children realize that time away from them is spent helping children learn and that vulnerability is a sign of strength and bravery."
- June I
"My son was admitted to an Ivy League school when only 2 years ago, you assessed him and saw his struggles, his Dyslexia. We are grateful that he no longer has to carry that deep feeling of inadequacy or shame that must have kept him so self conscious and from reaching his potential. He has the PERFECT program for him. He has A's in high math and economics. He became a Merit Scholar, a Boys State legislature, the HEAD captain of the football team and help a job ALL while studying and managing his classes and disability. I am PROUD of you, a young doctor, who knows and sees the vulnerability of children and helps them recognize "it's NO big deal" God bless."
- Anonymous

Learn More About Dr. Liz!

Subscribe to our Mailing List
Psychological and Educational Consulting Logo

513 W Mt Pleasant Ave, Ste 212,
​Livingston, NJ 07039

Visit my Psychology Today Blog

Where to find us

I don’t know where I’m going