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Trauma

Suicide Prevention

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Suicide Prevention

Sometimes, the person who needs help the most is the person saying the least. 🤍
If someone is withdrawing, unusually quiet, expressing hopelessness, or saying they feel like a burden…ASK.
Don’t be afraid to say the word suicide. A direct question can open the door to a conversation they desperately need.
You don’t need perfect words. Sometimes, simply saying:
“I’m here. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
can mean everything.
Reach out today. Check in. Listen. Stay connected.
And if you’re struggling, please don’t stay silent. Your life matters, and asking for help is strength. 🤍
If you or someone you care about needs professional support, reach out to us for support:
Psychological & Educational Consulting, LLC
📞973.309.3262
📩drliz@psychedconsult.com to learn more or schedule an appointment.

Books to Support Your Child’s Mental Health

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Books to Support Your Child’s Mental Health

October is both Mental Health Awareness Month and International School Library Awareness Month! This is a great time to share book titles that support our children’s mental health.

NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, has created an incredible resource of book titles broken down into the following sections:

  • Books for Children about their issues:
  • ADHD, Anger & Impulse Control, Anxiety, Autism, Worry & OCD, Depression & Bipolar Disorder, Feelings, Self-Esteem and Relaxation, PTSD and trauma, Schizophrenia
  • Books for Children and Teens who have Parents with Mental Health Conditions
  • Books for Children and Teens who have Siblings with Mental Health Conditions
  • Books for Parents of Children and Teens with Mental Health Issues

To access this great resource check out:

NAMI Mental Health Book List

How to Talk to Your Kids About the Devastating Plane Crash in DC

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How to Talk to Your Kids About the Devastating Plane Crash in DC

posted on NJ Family Magazine

Wednesday night’s tragic plane crash over the Potomac near Reagan Washington National Airport is the deadliest U.S. air crash in nearly 24 years. There were no survivors in the mid-air collision between an American Airlines jet carrying 64 passengers, including a group of figure skaters returning from a development camp, and a U.S. Army Black Hawk helicopter which had 3 soldiers on board.

Chances are your children have heard the devastating news and may feel anxious, sad or even worried about their safety, especially if someone in your family is a frequent traveler or you fly as a family. We spoke with experts to understand how to address the news with your kids in a thoughtful, supportive way. Here’s what they shared:

Start by Listening to What They Know

“First and foremost, gauge how much your child knows,” says Liz Nissim, PhD, a clinical and school psychologist with Psychological and Educational Consulting in Livingston. “Don’t assume that your child understands what has fully happened. Listen to what your child has to say without interrupting, and without trying to correct or mitigate.”

Stacy Thiry, a Florida-based licensed mental health counselor at Grow Therapy, recommends asking open-ended questions like, “Have you heard about the plane crash?” or “How are you feeling about what happened?” This will help you understand what they’ve already heard and what’s on their mind, Thiry says.

Validate Their Feelings

It’s important to let kids know their feelings are completely natural, says Stephanie Marcello, Ph.D., Chief Psychologist at Rutgers University Behavioral Health Care. “Remind them you will be there whenever they need you…Be available, listen actively (stop whatever you are doing and be present, let them finish before you respond) and respond thoughtfully.” Validating their emotions and offering reassurance can help children feel supported.

Be a Calm Role Model

Children often look to adults for cues on how to respond to distressing events. Marcello advises parents to model calm and reassuring behavior. “Be careful not to have a super strong reaction, matter-of-fact approaches work best,” says Marcello, also Assistant Vice President, Academics, Integration and Innovation at Rutgers Behavioral Health Care. “Consider that children will learn based on watching the adults in their lives. How are you talking about the event or showing your own anxiety?  From there we can provide age-appropriate information. We want to be careful if our child knows about the accident not to pretend it didn’t happen, which can make their anxiety worse.”

Reassure Them About Flying

If your child expresses concerns about flying, particularly if a family member frequently travels, providing factual reassurance can help. Thiry recommends emphasizing the rarity of plane crashes. “Remind them that plane crashes are very rare. Pilots, mechanics, and air traffic controllers work hard to make sure flying is safe,” she says.

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Answering Your Child’s Questions

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Answering Your Child’s Questions

written by Dr. Liz Nissim-Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

Children and teenagers are curious creatures. They also hear and see things that they don’t always understand. They pick up on the emotions around them and can feel overwhelmed or confused. The natural next step is for a child or teen to approach his or her parent.

As parents, sometimes we feel the need to tell our child or teen everything we know on a particular topic as a way of giving background. However, what we may not realize is that when our children ask us a question, they often are seeking a simple answer, and that’s it.

Depending on your child’s age and disability, as parents, we make tough decisions about sharing information about current events such as natural disasters or school shootings. Sadly, that is the world we live in, and with social media and access to the internet, our children are more informed today than we ever were when we were their age. In that sense, our world is a scarier place for our children today. Pre-internet, our generation found out about current events through our teachers, parents, or other family members.

What Should I Tell My Child When There Is a Natural Disaster or School Shooting?

When your child approaches you, first, get a sense of why he is interested in the topic now. For example, if they ask you, “Mommy, what happened in XXX (insert topic of interest here)?” Start with “What did you hear about that? Where did you hear about it?” First, try to gain an understanding of where this information came from, and then ask your child to tell you what he knows about it.

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Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event

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Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event

posted on Child Mind

In the wake of a traumatic event, your comfort, support and reassurance can make children feel safe, help them manage their fears, guide them through their grief, and help them recover in a healthy way. This guide was assembled by psychiatrists, psychologists and mental health experts who specialize in crisis situations. It offers simple tips on what to expect, what to do and what to look out for. If you or your children require assistance from a mental health professional, do not hesitate to ask a doctor or other health care provider for a recommendation.

Tips for Helping Children After the Event

  • Make your child feel safe. All children, from toddlers to teens, will benefit from your touch—extra cuddling, hugs or just a reassuring pat on the back. It gives them a feeling of security, which is so important in the aftermath of a frightening or disturbing event. For specific information on what to do and say, see the age-by-age-guide.
  • Act calm. Children look to adults for reassurance after traumatic events have occurred. Do not discuss your anxieties with your children, or when they are around, and be aware of the tone of your voice, as children quickly pick up on anxiety.
  • Maintain routines as much as possible. Amidst chaos and change, routines reassure children that life will be okay again. Try to have regular mealtimes and bedtimes. If you are homeless or temporarily relocated, establish new routines. And stick with the same family rules, such as ones about good behavior.
  • Help children enjoy themselves. Encourage kids to do activities and play with others. The distraction is good for them, and gives them a sense of normalcy.
  • Share information about what happened. It’s always best to learn the details of a traumatic event from a safe, trusted adult. Be brief and honest, and allow children to ask questions. Don’t presume kids are worrying about the same things as adults.
  • Pick good times to talk. Look for natural openings to have a discussion.
  • Prevent or limit exposure to news coverage. This is especially critical with toddlers and school-age children, as seeing disturbing events recounted on TV or in the newspaper or listening to them on the radio can make them seem to be ongoing. Children who believe bad events are temporary can more quickly recover from them.
  • Understand that children cope in different ways. Some might want to spend extra time with friends and relatives; some might want to spend more time alone. Let your child know it is normal to experience anger, guilt and sadness, and to express things in different ways—for example, a person may feel sad but not cry.
  • Listen well. It is important to understand how your child views the situation, and what is confusing or troubling to them. Do not lecture—just be understanding. Let kids know it is OK to tell you how they are feeling at any time.
  • Help children relax with breathing exercises. Breathing becomes shallow when anxiety sets in; deep belly breaths can help children calm down. You can hold a feather or a wad of cotton in front of your child’s mouth and ask them to blow at it, exhaling slowly. Or you can say, “Let’s breathe in slowly while I count to three, then breathe out while I count to three.” Place a stuffed animal or pillow on your child’s belly as they lie down and ask them to breathe in and out slowly and watch the stuffed animal or pillow rise and fall.
  • Acknowledge what your child is feeling. If a child admits to a concern, do not respond, “Oh, don’t be worried,” because they may feel embarrassed or criticized. Simply confirm what you are hearing: “Yes, I can see that you are worried.”
  • Know that it’s okay to answer, “I don’t know.” What children need most is someone whom they trust to listen to their questions, accept their feelings, and be there for them. Don’t worry about knowing exactly the right thing to say — after all, there is no answer that will make everything okay.
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"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Julie C.
"Dr. Matheis has a remarkable ability to understand the unique needs of her patients and address them constructively. She builds strong, meaningful relationships with patients and their families, encouraging trust and collaboration. When working with my son who struggles with autism-related anxiety, she created an environment in which he was able to calm down and open up to her in ways I had not seen before. She was able to reach him and helped him work through his crisis/problem. Most importantly, she empowered him to move forward."
- N.L.
"Dr. Matheis is amazing. She has tremendous resources and loads of energy. She is not willing to accept anything less than the most effective results for her clients. She made me feel as if my son was her top priority throughout the entire process. I would, without reservation, give her my highest recommendations.  Thank you, Dr. Matheis!"
- Anonymous
"Dr. Matheis has an amazing ability to read kids and connect with them. She has been an invaluable resource for our family over the past several years and has helped us with everything from educational consulting, to uncovering diagnoses as well as family therapy. Working with Dr. Matheis never feels clinical and most importantly, our children love and trust her. We can not thank you enough Dr. Liz!"
- Anonymous
"My teenage son had been seeing Dr. Matheis through his senior year of high school, as he was only diagnosed with ADHD at 16 years old.  Dr. Matheis came highly recommended from our pediatrician and she has done wonders for our son as well as our family, navigating new ways for him to deal with his diagnosis without the use of medication.  She taught him ways to organize himself and even when something did not work for him, she patiently continued teaching him new ways to keep himself on track.  She has also helped us as parents to understand how his mind works so that we did not continue to blame his lack of focus on him, rather on his unique way of thinking.  Thank you Dr. Matheis!!!!"
- LG
"Dr. Liz is the best! Our family was directed to her by our Pediatrician to assist with figuring out severe mood changes, severe anxiety, strange new fears and food aversion that had come onto one of our children literally overnight. After just a couple of visits, she suggested that the issues may actually be rooted in a physical issue and suggested we immediately take our child to be swabbed for strep, because Dr. Liz suspected PANDAS (a pediatric autoimmune disorder brought on by strep). The same Pediatrician that suggested Dr. Liz would not do the swab (they do not believe in PANDAS and we no longer go there) but I took my child to my doctor who did the swab and it was positive for strep. When our child went on antibiotics, within 24 hours all symptoms went away and our child was back :-) Dr. Liz then recommended a PANDAS specialist who helped us and our child is in complete remission and is happy and healthy. We are incredibly grateful to Dr. Liz for her knowledge of all things, even the most remote and unusual and for helping us so much! Thank you!"
- Anonymous
"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Anonymous
"Thank you, Dr. Liz. Although we have told you countless times, it will never feel enough. You have listened when J could barely speak and continued to listen when he was sad, angry and confused. You've challenged him and directed us in our roles as parents. You've helped J face his fears while the list evolved and changed, and yet you've stayed committed to 'the course.' We pray that your children realize that time away from them is spent helping children learn and that vulnerability is a sign of strength and bravery."
- June I
"My son was admitted to an Ivy League school when only 2 years ago, you assessed him and saw his struggles, his Dyslexia. We are grateful that he no longer has to carry that deep feeling of inadequacy or shame that must have kept him so self conscious and from reaching his potential. He has the PERFECT program for him. He has A's in high math and economics. He became a Merit Scholar, a Boys State legislature, the HEAD captain of the football team and help a job ALL while studying and managing his classes and disability. I am PROUD of you, a young doctor, who knows and sees the vulnerability of children and helps them recognize "it's NO big deal" God bless."
- Anonymous

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