Lili is very passionate about working with the special needs community. Prior to law school she worked at an Adult Day Program for individuals with developmental disabilities.
Reach out to Lili:
973.370.0592
Coyle Law Group P.C. – 201 Littleton Rd., Suite 210, Morris Plains, NJ 07950
973.309.3262
drliz@psychedconsult.comwritten by Dr. Tera Torres of Maximilian Kolbe College
Posted on Parenting Teens & Tweens
As your neurodivergent child graduates from high school, expect that the structured system that has supported them for twelve years will begin to disappear. The team: the case manager tracking accommodations, teachers who gave extra time, or the counselor who checks in supporting your teen was there because the schools offered it and the law required it.
The week after graduation, that team is gone.
College disability offices do not come looking for your child. They wait and only help once your child walks in, asks for what they need, and provides documentation. For many neurodivergent young adults, that first step is the hardest thing they have never been asked to practice.
According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, only 22.8 percent of Americans with a disability were employed in 2025, compared to 65.2 percent of adults without disabilities. And research from MIT Sloan Management Review found that even among college-educated autistic adults, unemployment can run as high as 85 percent. A degree on the wall does not change those odds. Preparation does. With the right preparation, your neurodivergent teen can learn to stand on their own before the high school safety net is gone.
Has your child ever had to ask for their own accommodations? Probably not. You advocated for them. Their teacher did. The IEP did the heavy lifting. In college and at work, nobody does that anymore.
Start practicing real sentences at home, at the dinner table, in the car. Things like: “I do better with written instructions. Can you send me a recap after we talk?” or “I need a little extra time on this. Who should I check with?” Make those sentences automatic before the stakes are high.
A study in the American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology found that autistic students rate themselves significantly lower on self-advocacy than peers with other disabilities, and many struggle to recognize when they need help at all. That is a skill gap, not a character flaw. Skill gaps close with practice.
Executive functioning or the ability to plan, start, and finish things is where most neurodivergent young adults hit a wall in the workforce. Homework does not build that muscle. Real life does.
Pick one thing and hand it over completely. Have them manage the weekly grocery list and budget. Have them schedule and attend their own doctor’s appointments without reminders. Let it be messy. Let them forget something. Let them experience real friction. That friction is the point. A student who has managed a real responsibility for six months walks into adulthood with the lived experience of starting something, getting stuck, and finishing it anyway.
The typical internship drops a young adult into an office and expects them to figure out the unwritten rules: when to speak up, how to ask a manager for help, what “urgent” actually means. Nobody teaches that. You are just supposed to know.
What actually works is work experience where a mentor stays involved during the first few months, not just day one. JPMorgan Chase found that when they built exactly that structure into their Autism at Work program, employees made fewer errors and were 48 percent more productive than peers who had been in the same role for three to ten years. The support did not limit performance. It unlocked it.
One of the most common reasons neurodivergent students leave a program in the first month is not the work. Rather, it is an environmental overwhelm that was never anticipated. Unfamiliar lighting, noise, hallway layouts, and social dynamics all cost cognitive bandwidth, and that bill gets paid before a single task is attempted.
Before your teen starts anywhere new, visit on a quiet regular day. Walk the route from the parking lot. Find the bathroom, the quiet corner, the safe person. Elite athletes walk the course before they race it. There is no reason your child should encounter their new environment for the first time on the day everything is already high stakes.
Emotional dysregulation is one of the most common reasons neurodivergent adults lose jobs and leave programs. It derails things badly because nobody practiced what to do before it happened.
Work on this together while things are calm. What does your child do when they feel it starting to build? A three-minute walk outside. A phrase they can say to a coworker: “I just need a few minutes.” Something in their bag that signals a reset. Whatever it is, practice it at home when everything is fine. When a hard day arrives, the response is already there waiting.
written by Kimberly Zapata, posted on Parents
Many children find school unnerving. From first day jitters to concerns about bullying, going to school can be a major cause of stress. It may also bring up feelings of fear, insecurity, apprehension, and angst. But are your child’s worries normal? How can you ease back-to-school anxiety—if your child is suffering from it?
We asked the two experts to weigh in. This is what they had to say.
Back-to-school anxiety is any type of anxiety tied to going or returning to school. The cause of back-to-school anxiety can vary. Some kids are worried about being separated from beloved family members. This is commonly referred to as separation anxiety. Others worry about making friends.
“The average child’s school day is packed with potential stressors,” explains an article from Harvard Health. “[This includes] separating from parents, meeting academic expectations, managing peer groups, and navigating loud, crowded school hallways and cafeteria, to name just a few… but for some children—and particularly for children who already struggle with anxiety or have anxiety disorders—the return to school can be very stressful.”
As mentioned, there are many causes of back-to-school anxiety, including:
Being separated from beloved family members can also be a major cause of stress, particularly for young children.
That said, it’s important to note that some children are just more prone to anxiety than others. Those with a family history of anxiety, for example, may be genetically predisposed. Others may just have higher risk factors, including familial instability and abuse or neglect. The loss of a beloved friend or family member can also trigger anxiety.
The signs of back-to-school anxiety vary, from person to person and case to case. Anxiety looks different in younger children, for example, than in older ones. It may also manifest in a myriad of ways, depending on the cause of said anxiety and/or the type.
The most common signs of anxiety in children are:
“Anxiety can look a lot of different ways since there are a lot of different ways it presents,” adds Kendra Read, attending psychologist at Seattle Children’s Hospital. “Some key things to look out for are avoidance (overt- like not going to school or not talking, and subtle- like overdoing work to avoid failure), physical sensations without a clear other cause (heart racing, stomach aches, throwing up, diarrhea, shaking, etc), and even anger-filled outbursts.”
How Can You Help Your Child If They Are Worried About School?
While back-to-school anxiety can seem overwhelming, there are ways to support your child through this period—and these feelings.
One of the best ways to support your child is to listen, without judgment, and to validate their feelings. Sometimes, expressing their feelings is all a child needs to feel better. “The most helpful thing you can do to support your child is to validate their feelings and express confidence in their abilities,” says Read. “Saying things like ‘I know you feel nervous/scared/anxious but you’re doing great’ or ‘I know you can do this’ can be helpful.” C. Leigh McInnis, LPC and executive director at Newport Healthcare in Virginia, stresses the importance of listening.
“Allow your child to voice their concerns,” they add. “If you notice signs that your child may be struggling with stressor anxiety, it’s important that they feel comfortable enough to express what they are feeling to you. You should also make an effort to be present and assure your child that they are not alone.” Feeling seen, heard, and supported is key.
While your child may feel like the only one who is nervous about starting school again, other children experience back-to-school anxiety. It is important they realize this; i.e., it is important you let them know they are not alone.
Before the start of the year, you and your child may want to consider doing a walk-through of their school day, starting with their morning routine. This means waking up at a set time, eating breakfast, packing their school bag, and traveling to and from school. After the walk-through, you can ask your child for their input on how things went. Encourage them to give feedback on their successes and challenges, including potential pain points, so you can work through them together.
While it’s important to be prepared, having calming tools is key. “Encourage your child to try breathing exercises. These are proven to have a calming effect on the nervous system,” says McInnis. “Activities such as yoga and meditation may also help, and you should try to get your child or teen to write in a journal, as this is another evidence-based tool for stress relief.”
If your child is concerned about reconnecting with friends they haven’t seen in months, arrange some playdates. Helping your children reconnect with old friends or strengthen bonds with new ones not only reduces anxiety and stress but also can help your child start the year off on the right foot.
If your child is concerned about the environment, do what you can to prepare them for the classroom. Take them to whatever events the school offers, whether they be orientations, tours, or kid-friendly back-to-school nights. Grab some back-to-school books from the library and read them together.
“Research has repeatedly proven that time outdoors reduces levels of stress, depression, and anxiety,” McInnis adds. “When children aren’t in school, spend time hiking or at the beach. Mental imagery and visualization are also powerful tools. When teens practice positive visualization, for example, they learn how to regulate their emotions and relieve anxiety and stress.” You’ll also want to get to the root of the problem, i.e., if academic struggles are the cause of said anxiety, you can and should get your child additional support.
If your child has significant anxiety, you may want to talk to their counselor and/or the school’s mental health team. Being in contact with them can help you and your child come up with a support plan. It will give them a safe and trusted point of contact during the day, which is pivotal if they are feeling particularly stressed. And they can offer guidance for social, emotional, and behavioral issues.
Spent the morning assessing a student for dyslexia.
This is what the office looks like – high energy, high impulsivity, and a strong need for sensory input in full effect.
Assessment isn’t just about scores. It’s about meeting each child where he or she is, supporting regulation in real time and creating a space for his or her best effort to shine through!
Are you looking for testing for your child to better understand his or her learning profile? Reach out to us today:
drliz@psychedconsult.com
Today is National Read Across America Day! To celebrate this day we want to share an excellent article on Child Mind’s Website. They have compiled a list of great resources around books about children’s mental health, in their article, “77 Children’s Books About Mental Health” by Karen Cicero.
Best books for helping kids understand emotional and learning challenges
From a hedgehog too anxious to go ice skating to a puppy who can’t make his letters come out right, children’s books address many emotional, behavioral and learning challenges kids face. These books help kids name and understand feelings and experiences they may be struggling with. At the Child Mind Institute we’ve contacted publishers all over to call in popular children’s books about mental health and learning disorders and other common challenges, like dealing with painful experiences and coping with strong emotions. We included books for kids up to 12, from picture books to be read with preschoolers to chapter books for independent reading by older children. Our clinicians read them all and picked the best in each category, based on how helpful they found them. Here you will see descriptions of 77 books we like, and we hope you will find useful.
In February, Dr. Liz Nissim joined Chris Dessi on his podcast The Quantum Shift, in the episode, “Your Child Isn’t Broken, Their Brain Just Works Differently.”
Huge thanks to Chris for hosting this episode on his podcast!
Watch here!
excerpts taken from Prep Academy Tutors
Prep Academy Tutors offers one-on-one tutoring services to students in Northern, NJ. We understand that no two children learn in exactly the same way, so we cater our approach to education based on a student’s individual needs. We work to form a close relationship that is both encouraging and empowering, as we help students fill in academic gaps. To us education is fun, and we want your child to have fun on their journey to academic success.
Our program offers:
Learn more about the tutoring services our certified teachers can provide to help elevate your child’s educational experience by contacting us:
Prep Academy Tutors of Northern NJ
Contact Person: Greg Costanzo, Owner
Phone: 973.638.2868
Email: northernnewjersey@prepacademytutors.com
Website: https://prepacademytutors.com/location/northern-new-jersey/
