I Think My Child is Dyslexic. Now What?

I Think My Child Is Dyslexic. Now What?

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

First thing first: If you suspect your child has dyslexia, consult with an educational psychologist who can perform a psycho-educational evaluation to look at areas of academic functioning as well as cognitive or intellectual capability.

On par with how your public school district’s child study team will find eligibility, the evaluator will look for an achievement-aptitude discrepancy of a minimum of 19 points or 1 standard deviation. Request that your evaluator further administer a dyslexia assessment, such as the Feifer Assessment of Reading or the Feifer Assessment of Writing to determine the type of dyslexia or dysgraphia. This will further allow your evaluator to determine if your child meets the criteria for a specific learning disability within the area of reading, writing, or reading comprehension.

Once you have this diagnosis, request an initial identification meeting with the school’s child study team. Put your request in writing via an email and/or a physical letter that can be handed to the assistant to the director of special services. (A sample letter can be found at the end of this post.) Request a date stamp and a copy of your stamped letter. Once you are sitting with the child study team for an initial identification meeting, share a copy of the evaluator’s report and request an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) for your child under the eligibility category of “specific learning disability.”

You are then requesting pull-out resource within the areas of reading and writing with a special education teacher who can modify the curriculum for your child. The program that is most empirically validated for dyslexia is known as the Orton Gillingham or Wilson program, a multisensory instructional system.

 

11 Things Parents of Kids with Disabilities Need to Survive and Thrive

11 Things Parents of Kids with Disabilities Need to Survive and Thrive

written by Lisa Jo Rudy, posted on VeryWell Family

When you’re the guardian or parent of a disabled child, various aspects of parenting are magnified. Playdates can become complex projects requiring diplomacy, support, and vast quantities of time and patience. Trips to the doctor are frequent, expensive, time-consuming, and fraught with worry. Shopping excursions are likely to result in sensory and emotional overloads for both you and your children.

With so much more to think about, worry about, plan for, and manage, it is paramount that you’re taking good care of yourself.

11 Needs of Guardians of Disabled Children

Here’s a partial list that may sound familiar to parents and guardians of disabled children, especially if they have a disability themself. While these are the top 11, they’re in no particular order.

More Time

Between PTO meetings, helping out with homework, and work deadlines, it can be hard for any parent to find “me” time. Magnify that for parents of children with disabilities who might also have IEP meetings, therapy appointments, and many doctor appointments in the mix.

Add challenges such as driving 50 miles to get to the only dentist who will work with your child’s sensory needs, only to learn that you’ll need to come back next week to fill that cavity… and then driving 60 miles in the other direction because your kid wants to take ballet and the only mobility-inclusive ballet class is on the other side of the county.

And let’s not get started on how the rest of your time is spent working or nurturing relationships with your partner(s), your friends, and your extended family.

Energy Reserves

Not only is it time-consuming to be an advocate for your child on top of parenting, it’s also exhausting. It takes a lot of energy to raise a child, and then add hours a day for driving to out of town appointments, filling out paperwork, reading new studies and research articles, caring for your child during meltdowns and flareups, or cooking special foods for your child because of allergies, intolerances, or feeding challenges.

Toss in the energy required to cope with strangers’ stares, teachers’ “concerns,” and grandparents’ worries, and it all adds up to very few hours of rest.

Money for Critical Expenses

Without taking into account the effects of inflation, a low minimum wage, employment discrimination, and other systemic barriers, the typical costs of raising a child increase if the child is disabled. A multi-income household should be able to earn enough money for a family to live comfortably, but that is not always the reality, and many households are led by one parent or guardian.

Mobility aids, communication devices, medicine, specialist co-pays, and the extra gas to drive to all those specialists—it all adds up. Many parents of disabled kids also wind up cutting back their work hours to be available for their child, thus decreasing their income when they need it most.

Should I Give Medication to My Child With ADHD?

Should I Give Medication to My Child With ADHD?

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

Medication for ADHD is not some sort of magical solution. Although it may help with improving your child’s attention for longer periods, it will not manage the executive functioning, behavioral, social, and emotional struggles that often walk hand-in-hand with ADHD.

Parents often struggle with this question – should I place my child on medication? The diagnosis itself does not create a clear-cut yes or no answer. Instead, it depends on your child’s profile and which types of activities of daily living your child is struggling with at home, as well as which abilities your child is having trouble with in school.

Hyperactivity, Impulsivity, and Inattention

When children in elementary school are diagnosed with ADHD, it’s not uncommon to see a high level of external hyperactivity and impulsivity. This may look like:

  • Shouting an answer within the classroom without raising his or her hand
  • Intruding or interrupting conversations or activities among peers
  • “Falling” out of his seat
  • Leaving her seat often and sometimes without a clear reason
  • Getting angry or sad quickly
  • Having a low frustration tolerance when things don’t come easily and giving up

Over time, as our children grow into teens and young adults, external hyperactivity and impulsivity turns into internal hyperactivity and impulsivity. That is, although our kids may not be leaving their seats or speaking out of turn, they are now internally distracted with their thoughts and worries. They are not feeling the need to get up and move but instead are restless and fidgety at their desk. They are tapping their pencil, shaking their leg, or twirling their hair.

Sharing Resources: Parent Support Groups Forming

Support Groups for Parents of Children with Special Needs

PEC is sharing this resource to help support families of children with special needs.

Pamela Goldsteen, LCSW, is an EMDR Certified, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner who is forming groups of parents who have children with special needs. There will be 8 virtual sessions for parents, where they will learn how to:

  • Normalize parenting challenges and manage strong emotions
  • Destigmatize feels of resentment, guilt and overwhelm
  • Recognize your parenting strengths
  • Effectively advocate for school supports and services

For more information and to sign up for these groups, please contact Pamela at:

Email: pamelagoldsteenlcsw@gmail.com

Phone: 201-614-4031

The Best Way to Explain Learning Disabilities to Your Child

The Best Way to Explain Learning Disabilities to Your Child

written by Rick Lavoie, M.A., M.Ed., posted on ADDitude Magazine

A parent once called my special education school to request an admissions visit for her and her son, who was struggling mightily in school. She asked a strange question in her initial phone call: “Does the school have any signs or posters displayed that identify the program as a school for kids with learning disabilities?”

I asked her why she wished to know this. She replied, “My son doesn’t know that he has a learning disability, and we don’t want him to know.” He knows, Mom. Believe me, he knows.

I have long been puzzled by a parent’s reluctance to discuss a child’s learning disability diagnosis with him. The knowledge that he has an identifiable, common, measurable, and treatable condition often comes as great comfort to the youngster. Without this information, the child is likely to believe the taunts of his classmates and feel that he indeed is a dummy. The truth will set him free!

If a child does not have a basic understanding of the nature of his learning challenges, it is unlikely that he will be able to sustain his motivation in the classroom. Because he is puzzled about the difficulty that he is experiencing at school, he is unlikely to be able to commit to his studies.

“Please Let Him Make Just One Friend.”

“Please Let Him Make Just One Friend.”

written by Mary White, posted on Attitude Magazine

This back-to-school season, I implore you: Please talk to your kids about disabilities. Yes, we need to have conversations about physical disabilities — wheelchairs, braces, missing limbs, hearing aides — but let’s not forget to talk about the hidden disabilities that are so often missed entirely. Just because a child looks normal doesn’t mean there is not a battle going on in their brain, and that is so important for everyone — teachers, friends, relatives — to understand.

Here is what I’d like my child’s teachers and classmates to know about my son: He may say or do things that seem strange. Sometimes these things will make him a target for ridicule, judgments, and being left out. He may be “too extra” for the other kids: the extra energy, extra emotions, extra funny, extra loud, extra caring, extra attentive, etc., means he is bullied by some while other kids steer clear of him to avoid the same.

If your child is like my son, you avoid asking about if he made any new friends. Had he made a friend, the excitement of finally being accepted would be beaming across his face; we would already know our kid had exciting news.

 

Self-Care Tips for Parents of Special Needs Children

Self-Care Tips for Parents of Special Needs Children

Being the parent of a child with a disability carries with it unique responsibilities, stressors, and rewards. It requires an extra dose of emotional resilience, perseverance, and resourcefulness. Powered by the same (or an even stronger) drive to nurture, protect, and empower their children as parents of kids perceived as normatively abled, parents of children with physical, intellectual, or developmental disabilities such as autism spectrum issues, spina bifida, or Down syndrome often face profound social and systemic prejudices. These “invisible” obstacles can be all the more agonizing when they are unacknowledged.

The Global Partnership for Education notes “children with disabilities remain the most excluded group [when it comes to educational opportunities], discriminated not only because of their disability but also because of lack of understanding and knowledge about its causes, implications, and stigma.” Even parents seeking to support their child with attention-deficit hyperactivity (ADHD) or physical conditions such as blindness or mobility issues can find themselves overwhelmed by the challenges of getting proper testing or access to a restroom or play space. When a child’s disability dovetails with preexisting societal or cultural prejudices related to gender, race, religious affiliation, or sexual identity, the challenges intensify, with an impact on parents that peers, colleagues, and others may not fully comprehend or appreciate.

As parents of children with disabilities proactively seek information and support and advocate for their children, they may discover frustrating limitations that reinforce a sense of isolation or exclusion and stoke emotions such as grief or anger. As a result of these and other factors, parents seeking support for their special needs children have special needs of their own when it comes to self-care.

How to apply for jobs if you have Dyslexia

How to apply for jobs if you have Dyslexia

written by Susan Shor, posted on Resume io

Dyslexia should not be a barrier to finding a great job and, in fact, it’s not. Start with the tips below to smooth your path to success.

Dyslexia does not have to be an obstacle in your job search, even if it made your school days more challenging. You have probably developed coping mechanisms and found technology to use to your advantage, but that doesn’t necessarily take the worry out of entering new situations.

This blog is designed to give you guidance on

  • Describing dyslexia to people who may not understand it
  • Writing a flawless resume and cover letter with dyslexia
  • To tell or not to tell (or when to tell) a prospective employer
  • Finding resources for adults with dyslexia.

How to Overcome Procrastination in 4 Steps

How to Overcome Procrastination in 4 Steps

written by Beth Kurland Ph.D., published on Psychology Today

The other day at a friend’s house I watched a squirrel as she tried for an hour or so to get at the seeds in the hanging bird feeder, where an array of stunning birds were enjoying their dinner. She was persistent, determined, persevering and purposeful, even though she never succeeded at getting an ongoing mouthful of tasty seeds that she clearly wanted. I marveled at her determination in the face of a situation in which most humans would surely have given up long ago or maybe wouldn’t have tried in the first place. What made her pursue her goal with such passion and commitment?

I imagine she may have had two things going for her:

First, she likely didn’t have an inner dialogue in her head about the whole event (e.g, “Oh boy, this is going to be a lot of work, this isn’t going to be fun and what if I don’t succeed? Eh forget it, I’d rather sit in the sun and watch the grass so I can avoid the effort of the whole thing.”) And she likely didn’t have a self-critical narrative (e.g., “What’s wrong with me that I can’t do this? Some of the other squirrels have figured out how to hack into bird feeders so why can’t I? What will the other squirrels think of me? This is too difficult so I’m just going to give up. What’s wrong with me anyway?”)

Second, because of her persistence, she occasionally knocked a seed or two out of the bird feeder and onto the ground. This intermittent reinforcement (once in a while getting a “win” — even if a partial one, in the face of many unsuccessful tries) is one of the most powerful motivators of behavior (think no further than a casino to grasp this concept).

What is Dyscalculia?

What is Dsycalculia?

written by Heidi Borst, published on US News

While many children wrestle with math, those having chronic difficulty with basic math concepts like recognizing numbers, learning to count, estimating or telling time may be struggling with dyscalculia.

Dyscalculia is a developmental learning disorder that results in math skills that are well below average for a person’s age, according to the American Psychological Association. Between 3% and 7% of the population has dyscalculia, according to a 2019 study.

“They have difficulty completing math calculations, take a longer time than their peers to solve math problems and often feel anxiety around anything that involves math or computation,” says Liz Matheis, a certified school psychologist and consultant in New Jersey.

Thankfully, there are many things parents and teachers can do to recognize dyscalculia and ensure students get help.

"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Julie C.
"Dr. Matheis has a remarkable ability to understand the unique needs of her patients and address them constructively. She builds strong, meaningful relationships with patients and their families, encouraging trust and collaboration. When working with my son who struggles with autism-related anxiety, she created an environment in which he was able to calm down and open up to her in ways I had not seen before. She was able to reach him and helped him work through his crisis/problem. Most importantly, she empowered him to move forward."
- N.L.
"Dr. Matheis is amazing. She has tremendous resources and loads of energy. She is not willing to accept anything less than the most effective results for her clients. She made me feel as if my son was her top priority throughout the entire process. I would, without reservation, give her my highest recommendations.  Thank you, Dr. Matheis!"
- Anonymous
"Dr. Matheis has an amazing ability to read kids and connect with them. She has been an invaluable resource for our family over the past several years and has helped us with everything from educational consulting, to uncovering diagnoses as well as family therapy. Working with Dr. Matheis never feels clinical and most importantly, our children love and trust her. We can not thank you enough Dr. Liz!"
- Anonymous
"My teenage son had been seeing Dr. Matheis through his senior year of high school, as he was only diagnosed with ADHD at 16 years old.  Dr. Matheis came highly recommended from our pediatrician and she has done wonders for our son as well as our family, navigating new ways for him to deal with his diagnosis without the use of medication.  She taught him ways to organize himself and even when something did not work for him, she patiently continued teaching him new ways to keep himself on track.  She has also helped us as parents to understand how his mind works so that we did not continue to blame his lack of focus on him, rather on his unique way of thinking.  Thank you Dr. Matheis!!!!"
- LG
"Dr. Liz is the best! Our family was directed to her by our Pediatrician to assist with figuring out severe mood changes, severe anxiety, strange new fears and food aversion that had come onto one of our children literally overnight. After just a couple of visits, she suggested that the issues may actually be rooted in a physical issue and suggested we immediately take our child to be swabbed for strep, because Dr. Liz suspected PANDAS (a pediatric autoimmune disorder brought on by strep). The same Pediatrician that suggested Dr. Liz would not do the swab (they do not believe in PANDAS and we no longer go there) but I took my child to my doctor who did the swab and it was positive for strep. When our child went on antibiotics, within 24 hours all symptoms went away and our child was back :-) Dr. Liz then recommended a PANDAS specialist who helped us and our child is in complete remission and is happy and healthy. We are incredibly grateful to Dr. Liz for her knowledge of all things, even the most remote and unusual and for helping us so much! Thank you!"
- Anonymous
"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Anonymous
"Thank you, Dr. Liz. Although we have told you countless times, it will never feel enough. You have listened when J could barely speak and continued to listen when he was sad, angry and confused. You've challenged him and directed us in our roles as parents. You've helped J face his fears while the list evolved and changed, and yet you've stayed committed to 'the course.' We pray that your children realize that time away from them is spent helping children learn and that vulnerability is a sign of strength and bravery."
- June I
"My son was admitted to an Ivy League school when only 2 years ago, you assessed him and saw his struggles, his Dyslexia. We are grateful that he no longer has to carry that deep feeling of inadequacy or shame that must have kept him so self conscious and from reaching his potential. He has the PERFECT program for him. He has A's in high math and economics. He became a Merit Scholar, a Boys State legislature, the HEAD captain of the football team and help a job ALL while studying and managing his classes and disability. I am PROUD of you, a young doctor, who knows and sees the vulnerability of children and helps them recognize "it's NO big deal" God bless."
- Anonymous

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