In February, Dr. Liz Nissim joined Chris Dessi on his podcast The Quantum Shift, in the episode, “Your Child Isn’t Broken, Their Brain Just Works Differently.”
Huge thanks to Chris for hosting this episode on his podcast!
Watch here!
posted on Teen DV Month
Teen dating violence is something no parent wants to consider. It’s hard enough to accept that your baby is growing up and having what might seem like truly adult experiences. But the thought that puppy love could turn into something as serious and as damaging as dating violence can be heartbreaking.
The unfortunate truth is that many teenagers do experience violence and abuse from their dating partners. If this happens, your child, who isn’t equipped to navigate something like this in the midst of new, intense, and complicated feelings, needs you more than ever. You’re not just there to help them; you’re a crucial lifeline in preventing and addressing a formative experience that could turn into juvenile crimes ugly fast.
One of the most powerful tools parents have is open and honest communication. It’s not easy, but creating an environment where your teen feels comfortable talking to you about anything and everything, including their relationships, will give you the best opportunity to steer them away from danger.
For you, this means being a good listener. Ask your teen open-ended questions about their dates, partners, and feelings about their relationships. Offer a nonjudgmental ear and validate their feelings even when you need to make your disagreement known.
Most importantly, make it abundantly clear that they can always come to you with any concerns, big or small, if something doesn’t feel right, without fear of dismissal. Keeping a sensitive, ongoing dialogue with your teen builds trust and makes it more likely that they’ll seek you out when they’re in trouble.
Teens are often bombarded with unrealistic and sometimes unhealthy portrayals of relationships in the media. It’s your role to help them understand what a healthy relationship truly looks like, with respect, equality, trust, mutual support, and consent as foundational elements.
Remember your first crush and how vulnerable those new and intense emotions made you feel. A bad actor can take advantage of this naivete to truly, and sometimes intimately, hurt your teen.
Take the time to educate your teen on the red flags of unhealthy or abusive relationships, like controlling behavior, jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse, intimidation, isolation from friends and family, and physical threats or violence. Help them recognize that these behaviors are never acceptable, no matter how in love they might be.
While it’s important to respect your teen’s privacy, make it clear that you’d like to get to know their partner. If you spend time with a potential abuser, you might see the signs that something is off more clearly than your teen can.
Invite your child’s partner over to your home and observe their interactions with your child to gain insight into their relationship dynamics. Pay attention to how the partner treats your teen and how your teen behaves around them. Trust your instincts, but balance that with not being overly intrusive.
As a parent, it’s your responsibility to set clear expectations and boundaries regarding dating. Stay consistent with rules about curfews, who they can date, and where they can go. Offer advice to help them enforce boundaries within the relationship itself, like their right to say no.
While some teens may push back against these rules, they ultimately provide security and demonstrate your care.
You can’t protect your child forever, as much as any parent might like to. But teaching them about healthy relationships now — and intervening if you see something that isn’t right — lays the groundwork for them to have safe, fulfilling relationships as they enter adulthood.
For more information check out this page:
written by Dr. Liz Nissim, posted on Psychology Today
Let’s be real: being a teenager isn’t easy. You’re balancing schoolwork, friendships, family expectations, and figuring out who you are, all while trying to keep up with the fast-paced world around you. On top of that, social media, the pressure to succeed, and even world events can all weigh your mood down. It’s no surprise that many teens today are struggling with anxiety, stress, and emotional fatigue.
Know what? All teens are struggling with similar types of teen things, so please know that you’re not alone.
And, on top of that, there are things that you can actively do to take care of your mental health. This doesn’t mean that you need to have all the answers or that you’re going to feel “happy” most of the time. Taking care of your mental health is about learning how to manage tough emotions, build resilience, and know when to reach out. Here are three strategies you can start using.
As a teen, you may often feel like you need to “figure it out” on your own and that you somehow “should” have the answers. That’s just not true. Talking about your feelings, whether you’re stressed, sad, anxious, or just unsure about how to handle a situation, is another way for you to connect to a parent, friend, family member, or therapist. You will undoubtedly realize that you are not alone in how you feel and that your feelings and thoughts are valid.
Sometimes, just hearing your own thoughts out loud takes them out of your head and makes them tangible. Making them tangible helps you to find potential solutions or ideas for how to manage something that needs to be managed. If you’re not ready to talk to another person, journaling or texting another person is also helpful. The key thing is to talk about it and not let it fester inside your body and your mind.
Not sure how to get a conversation started? Try something like, “I have a lot of thoughts in my head. Can you help me figure them out?”
If you’re anything like my own teens, you have your phone in hand almost 24-7. Your phones are basically glued to your hands. Constant exposure to social media, news updates, and even text messages can take a real toll on your mind. I’m not suggesting that you quit social media, but rather create some time when your phone is not with you and you engage in an electronics-free activity or time for your mind and body to quiet down.
written by Kari Lewis Ed.D. posted on Attitude Magazine
High-intensity interval training (HIIT) is a popular form of exercise that involves alternating between short, intense bursts of movement and brief periods of rest. As an ADHD coach, I’ve always considered the HIIT method to be well-suited for people with ADHD outside of fitness. The short intervals of work and rest are manageable and work to sustain focus and mental engagement.
With my own clients, I’ve adapted HIIT into a protocol for helping them manage dreaded tasks and get things done. I call it high-intensity interval tasking. Here’s how it works:
1. Think of a task that you consistently struggle to start or finish. I’m choosing folding and putting away laundry into drawers and closets. (Ugh!)
2. Decide how much time you want to allot to the task (this includes rest time, which we’ll get to). Note that you’re not basing it off how much time you have, but how much time you can realistically devote to the task without becoming frustrated or burning out. With that in mind, could you commit to a total of 5 minutes? 10? 15?
3. Within this timeframe, determine the ideal duration of your “work” (high intensity) intervals and your “rest” cycles. For example, two minutes of work and one minute of rest.
written by Dr. Liz Nissim, posted on Psychology Today
Mental health struggles in teens and young adults are more common than we realize, and they often remain invisible. It’s challenging to know how to start a conversation about mental health struggles, especially when a teen might feel embarrassed, overwhelmed, or just not ready to open up. If you’re a parent, teacher, or guardian looking to support a teen or child, here are three key points on how to talk about mental health in a way that creates connection and conversation, rather than creating distance and embarrassment
When you’re raising a teen, oftentimes, they just want to be heard. As parents, we often want to fix their problem and make it better, and we jump in with ideas of what to say or who to talk to. For our teens, this can make them feel judged and not heard. They feel like they did “something wrong” and can even feel embarrassed, which all leads to not talking to us, their parent, again in the future. Validate their experience and sympathize with their feelings, even if you don’t fully agree or understand their perspective. Say things like:
Speaking with your teen is an art and a dance. You’re trying to ask questions and gain information in a way that makes them feel in control of the flow of that information. How many times have you wanted to say (or said):
When we press too hard, our teens shut down and don’t share. Listen and create a comfortable space where your child can speak at their own pace, while you nod and show concern with your facial expressions and body language. If they’re not ready to talk, keep inviting conversation on their terms and time. Say something like:
Maybe you’re not ready to talk about this now. I’ll be downstairs. I’m ready to listen whenever you’re ready
Even with all of the mental health awareness that is around us in schools and in our communities, teens can still struggle with the idea of being “different” or the “only one” who is struggling. What they don’t know is that they are part of a big club of teens who are struggling with anxiety, depression, learning struggles, attentional struggles, friendship struggles, etc. As parents, we can normalize speaking with a therapist, a school counselor, or a trusted family member. Offer to find a therapist and set up an appointment for your teen. If you, the parent, are in therapy, share this information with your teen so he doesn’t feel “different” and that it is “normal” to want to speak to an objective professional who can offer a neutral perspective and with whom your teen can problem solve together.
Our teens have more awareness and access to information now than we ever did as their parents. This social, political, or worldly information can create fear and overwhelm for them. With a little patience, respect, and empathy, you can create the space and time for your teen to share her thoughts, listen, validate, and offer professional support if your teen needs more support. Keep inviting your teen to talk about what’s on his or her mind to help build a healthy next generation of adults.
written by Valerie Kirk, posted on Connections Academy
Since their first day of kindergarten, your student has been working towards one overarching goal: graduating from high school and earning their diploma. And while many students are full of excitement and anticipation for graduation day and what comes next in their lives, there are others who experience fear, uncertainty, and graduation anxiety.
Graduation anxiety is when teens feel scared and nervous about graduation to the point that it interferes with their daily lives. Graduation anxiety goes beyond feeling a little anxious about all the changes that are happening in their lives. Students who experience graduation anxiety and post-graduation anxiety are full of dread and uncertainty, constantly scared about the future.
There are many factors that lead to graduation anxiety.
High school graduation is a time of significant change, and change is hard. Teenagers are faced with changes to their school routine, friends, activities, and even where they live after graduation, which can be more change than some know how to handle emotionally.
Many teens just don’t know what they want to do after high school. Adding to the stress is the social pressure teens feel today to know exactly what career they want to pursue once they graduate. Many students feel pressure to declare a field of study before they even step foot on a college campus.
High school offers a safety net and support structure for students. They may feel that their support structure will disappear after graduation. They may also worry that they don’t have the skills yet to succeed in the adult world.
Familial Expectations
Families may have big dreams for their kids, but those dreams may be different than what their child wants. Students may feel that they just can’t live up to the expectations others have for them.
Whether going off to college or joining the workforce, entering adulthood includes more financial responsibilities, which can be stressful, especially for those who are uncertain about what they want to do after high school or who have limited experiences with managing their own finances.
written by Valerie Kirk, posted on Connections Academy
Since their first day of kindergarten, your student has been working towards one overarching goal: graduating from high school and earning their diploma. And while many students are full of excitement and anticipation for graduation day and what comes next in their lives, there are others who experience fear, uncertainty, and graduation anxiety.
Graduation anxiety is when teens feel scared and nervous about graduation to the point that it interferes with their daily lives. Graduation anxiety goes beyond feeling a little anxious about all the changes that are happening in their lives. Students who experience graduation anxiety and post-graduation anxiety are full of dread and uncertainty, constantly scared about the future.
There are many factors that lead to graduation anxiety.
High school graduation is a time of significant change, and change is hard. Teenagers are faced with changes to their school routine, friends, activities, and even where they live after graduation, which can be more change than some know how to handle emotionally.
Many teens just don’t know what they want to do after high school. Adding to the stress is the social pressure teens feel today to know exactly what career they want to pursue once they graduate. Many students feel pressure to declare a field of study before they even step foot on a college campus.
High school offers a safety net and support structure for students. They may feel that their support structure will disappear after graduation. They may also worry that they don’t have the skills yet to succeed in the adult world.
Familial Expectations
Families may have big dreams for their kids, but those dreams may be different than what their child wants. Students may feel that they just can’t live up to the expectations others have for them.
Whether going off to college or joining the workforce, entering adulthood includes more financial responsibilities, which can be stressful, especially for those who are uncertain about what they want to do after high school or who have limited experiences with managing their own finances.
posted on Child Mind
So, your once chatty teen has suddenly clammed up. No parent enjoys getting the silent treatment from their kid, especially when you feel like you’ve enjoyed a close relationship and nothing has changed on your end. The first thing to do is to take a breath and understand that pulling away from parents is not only normal but also a necessarydevelopmental stage ofadolescence. Navigating this transition toward independence is difficult and as much as kids hate to admit it (and probably won’t), children still need parents to stay connected and involved in their lives.
Teens need their own space but they also need their parents. In fact, most teens say they want to be closer to their parents but don’t know how to do that. So while your kid is doing the work of separating, you need to do the work of carefully bridging the gap. Start by meeting them where they are.
Whether or not you have cause for concern really depends on the extent to which your kid has stopped talking. Let’s look at three possible scenarios:
They told you everything and now, suddenly, they’ve shut you out and only share their private thoughts with friends.
In this case, you have very little to worry about. And painful as it may be, you have to try not to take your child’s choice personally. They’re doing what they’re supposed to be doing.
What to do:
They spend as little time with you as possible and seem to reserve all their enthusiasm for their friends.
Though it may be maddening and you might be tempted to punish this kind of behavior, know that it still falls well within the range of normal teenage development. Focusing on peer relationships helps kids learn to be less dependent on parents—a necessary step to becoming happy, independent adults. That said, it’s still your job to insist on respect and to keep your child safe.
What to do:
Dr. Liz joins the Dreemen Teen Talk Show to discuss parenting teens, with “Inside a Teen’s Mind.”
Why does your teen pull away? How can you set boundaries without breaking the bond? In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Liz shares powerful insights on:
1. Teenage anxiety, boundaries, and behavior
2. Parenting strategies that work
3. How to stop reacting and start responding
4. Building resilience and life skills in your child
5. Whether you’re a parent, educator, or teen yourself, this conversation brings clarity and compassion to the toughest parenting phase.
🎧 Listen. Reflect. Reconnect.
Psychological and Educational Consulting, NJ – psychconsult.com
