Why Should I Set Boundaries With My Teens?
written by Dr. Liz-Nissim Matheis, posted on Psychology Today
As a parent, you know that setting limits is important and healthy for your children. So, how exactly do we do that?
Let’s start at the beginning; boundaries are integral to our daily life. As adults, these boundaries become known as laws, like speeding laws. Without a speed limit, we would drive at all kinds of speeds and bump into things and people, causing serious injury and harm.
Within the workplace, we also have boundaries that define when we are supposed to show up for work and leave. Some boundaries are written or spoken, and some are created by the office culture.
Without these boundaries, we don’t know our limits. Not having clear-cut limits makes us feel anxious. Boundaries let us know that we are being held accountable, and it is up to us to make choices to remain in line with these boundaries. They also imply that someone is in charge.
If we didn’t have boundaries in our lives, we would spend much of our time and energy trying to decide what we can and can’t do rather than investing in areas of growth and development. The same holds for our children. Not having clear-cut expectations and standards for your child academically, socially, behaviorally, and morally can lead to the experience of anxiety. If our children do not know that we are the authority figures in their lives, they don’t have parameters in their world, and the world becomes an unsafe and scary place for them.