McLean’s Guide to Managing Mental Health Around the Holidays

McLean’s Guide to Managing Mental Health Around the Holidays

posted on McLean Hospital Website

Elvis once crooned about feeling blue at Christmas time—and we’re here to tell you: It’s perfectly normal to feel that way.

There are a variety of reasons why your days may not be merry and bright around the holiday season. It can be the jam-packed social calendar, deadlines at work, the loss of a loved one, sunless winter days, or all of the above.

According to the American Psychological Association, 38% of people surveyed said their stress increased during the holiday season, which can lead to physical illness, depression, anxiety, and substance misuse. The reasons given include lack of time, financial pressure, gift-giving, and family gatherings.

To make matters worse, the National Alliance on Mental Illness noted that 64% of individuals living with a mental illness felt that their conditions worsened around the holidays.

However, there are ways in which we can prepare ourselves and hopefully deflect some of the increased stress of the holidays. It’s important to realize that we do have more control than we think we do.

However, it’s equally important to realize that even if we put these ideas into practice and continue to feel overwhelmed or depressed, professional help is available.

6 Signs You May Be Struggling Around the Holidays

We’ve identified six common issues that come up this time of year, as well as suggestions from our mental health experts for ways to address them.

1. You’re Lacking the “Holiday Spirit”

Being surrounded by cheeriness can be stigmatizing when you don’t feel the same level of enthusiasm as others.

The pressure to be social, happy, and present can make it difficult to speak up if you feel otherwise. You may also feel left out if your spiritual traditions aren’t the dominant ones on display this time of year.

Holidays with Special Needs Children

Holidays with Special Needs Children

posted on Lori Lite’s Stress Free Kids 

Tips to enjoy the Holidays With Special Needs Children

Set Up a Safe Brain Break Space

Your child can enjoy downtime when they feel over-stimulated at your house or your relatives. Set up a brain break space and be sure that the other children and guests know that this space is off-limits. Empower your special needs child to recognize when they need to go to their brain break space. Practice, practice, practice ahead of time to know when the mood is escalating. Did I say practice? Empower children by packing a relaxation bag they can go to if they are feeling anxious. Bring earphones and their special relaxation music or stories. Playdough, stress ball, music, video game, even a camera can help children relax and give them a focus if they have social anxiety.

The Indigo Dreams Series gives you stories that incorporate actual relaxation techniques. The other kids may be jealous give them their own space to de-stress. You may start a new trend!

Get Ready

Social stories, books, and movies can be a big help in preparing your child emotionally for holidays. Comfortable clothing and small dose exposures to holiday sounds can help physically. Think ahead with an eye for anxiety causing issues. If wrapping paper too loud? Use easy open bags or just decorate with a bow. Are the electronic bears with bells at Grandma’s house going to cause sensory overload? Ask her to unplug them before you get there. Let friends and family know about triggers ahead of time. If your child doesn’t like to be hugged suggest a handshake or just a wave. Your friends, family, and special needs children will be glad you did.

Prepare Your Children For Gatherings

Eliminate unnecessary anxiety associated with getting together with family members you rarely see by looking through photos of relatives prior to your event. Play memory games matching names to faces. This will help your children feel more comfortable with people they may not have seen in a while. Aunt Mary won’t seem quite so scary when she bends down to greet your child.

Use Relaxation Techniques

Incorporate deep breathing or other coping strategies into your day. Let your children see you use techniques when you are feeling stressed. Encourage them to use relaxation techniques on a daily basis. Breathing, visualizing,and positive thinking are powerful tools.

Incorporate Positive Statements Into Your Dinner

This is empowering and reflective. Each person at the table can state an attribute of their own that they are thankful for. For example, “I am thankful that I am creative.” Feeling stressed? Try, “I am thankful that I am calm.” Your special needs child can prepare ahead with a drawing or sign language if they want to participate without speaking.

 

Is My Child or Teen Anxious?

Is My Child or Teen Anxious?

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

Does my child have a gastrointestinal issue? Is he an insomniac? Why is she struggling to get to school each day?

It’s not always easy to understand or identify when your child is struggling with anxiety. Sometimes it looks like a crabby kid, a kid who is melting down because he didn’t get “his way,” or a teen who is being disrespectful.

Sometimes, it’s even easy to mistake anxiety for a learning disability or an attention deficit disorder. For example, your child may think that he’s not good at math. Each day when it’s time for the math lesson, your child may complain of a stomachache in anticipation. He may ask to go to the school nurse. He is then missing the lesson and will struggle to complete the worksheet that is now being sent home for homework. Sometimes anxiety can look like your child is struggling with that particular subject but it is the thought that he can’t do math that leads to losing out on instruction rather than a true learning disability.

Being preoccupied with thoughts can also look like a focus issue because anxiety draws our kid’s attention inward. That is, your child or teen may be internally distracted because she is worrying about her safety or your safety. He may be nervous about being called on in class and not having the right answer or not being able to produce an answer quickly enough. Your child may also be worrying about another child who excludes him or makes fun of his hair or sneakers.

Anxiety and Friendships: New School Year, Fresh Start

Anxiety and Friendships: New School Year, Fresh Start

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

The start of the school year can breed anxiety for parents of anxious children, teens, and young adults. Although your child may want and seek and desire friendships, this may be an area that needs some coaching with the fresh start of a new school year.

So, what are you, as the parent of an anxious child, teen, or young adult, to do in an effort to help your child learn how to connect with other same-aged peers, build the skills to manage situations that don’t go their way, and maintain friendships over time? This is a difficult task because you hurt for your child when you see conflicts, when you hear words like, “She’s being mean to me,” when you notice that your and your child’s invitations for playdates are not being answered or reciprocated, or when you find that your teen or young adult is not being included in social plans.

Keep Your Ears Open

For young children (elementary-aged), I encourage parents to invite a friend over to play and to keep a listening ear from the next room. That is, take note of how your child interacts with his peers. For example, is your child bossy? Or, is your child quickly backing down to what the other child wants to do but then voicing to you later that the playdate was not fun because they did not get to play the games they wanted?

Listen to how your child manages negotiations and compromises, if at all. Are you hearing, “If you don’t play this game with me, then you’re not my friend”? Take note of which games your child enjoys and if the other child is joining them.

All of this information gives you insight into how your child is interacting with other children when you are not within earshot. You are also gaining valuable information about your child’s preferences, conflict resolution skills, and social personality. And try to maintain a schedule of one playdate per week, as friendships are built outside of school. Although this is difficult for working parents, make it a point to organize one social plan for each of your children per week.

For older children (middle school and older), the car is a great place to get a vibe check on what’s happening in your pre-teen and teen’s social world. Volunteer to drive your child and friends around and let the conversations go. The quieter you are in the driver’s seat, the more they forget you’re there and speak openly and candidly.

Five Ways to Beat Back-to-School Jitters

Five Ways to Beat Back-to-School Jitters

written by Katie Hurley, LCSW, posted on PBS

It’s that time of year again: Summer is winding down and families are preparing for the new school year. Whether your child is headed to kindergarten for the first time or returning for another year of preschool, the transition from summer to school is packed with emotions.

It’s perfectly natural for even the most enthusiastic young learner to feel nervous and uncertain. A new school year comes with a new classroom, a new teacher and new classmates. The classroom rules and routines are likely to change, as are the behavioral and academic expectations. It’s a lot to manage when you’re young.

Many children struggle to find the words to describe how they’re feeling when under stress, so it’s important to watch for behavioral changes. You know your child’s baseline. If your child normally falls asleep easily and sleeps through the night, but begins to struggle with bedtime or has nightmares or night wakings as the school year approaches, this is a good indicator that your child is experiencing anxiety. Other signs of stress can include the following:

  • Sleep disturbance
  • Changes in eating habits
  • Mood changes
  • Clingy behavior
  • Increased frustration
  • Frequent meltdowns
  • Decreased social interactions
  • Refusal to engage in normal daily activities

While many children will enter the first day of school without a worry, it does help to spend time focusing on the emotional needs of your child as the transition approaches. Take these steps to help your child prepare for a new school year.

Self-Care

Self-Care

posted on Active Minds

Self-Care is not selfish. You must pour into your own cup before you can pour into others.

Self-care and Mental Health

Ideally, we all engage in regular self-care in which we do the things that make us feel taken care of mentally, physically, and emotionally. But this doesn’t always happen, and we may need to stop and take the time to remind ourselves we are important, too.

Sometimes our feelings become too much and we need to distract ourselves until we are better able to cope. We can also strategically change how we are feeling when things become too overwhelming.

What is Self-Care?

Self-care is important to maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. It means doing things to take care of our minds, bodies, and souls by engaging in activities that promote well-being and reduce stress. Doing so enhances our ability to live fully, vibrantly, and effectively. The practice of self-care also reminds both you and others that your needs are valid and a priority.

Examples of Self-Care

  • Clean
  • Cook or bake
  • Cross something off your to-do list
  • Exercise
  • Get a massage
  • Go for a walk
  • Listen to music or a podcast
  • Make art
  • Meditation
  • Mindfulness exercises
  • Play a game
  • Practice deep breathing
  • Read
  • Take a bath
  • Take a (timed) nap
  • Watch TV or a movie
  • Yoga

distraction as a strategy

Why Should I Distract Myself?

Activities are a great way for us to distract ourselves from our current emotions until we are better able to cope. When our level of distress is too high, we may not be able to effectively handle a situation and need ways to bring our emotional state down. Some suggestions may seem similar to self-care, but distraction activities serve a different purpose. One person’s self-care activity is another’s distraction technique.

Examples of Distraction Activities

  • Call a friend (and don’t talk about what’s causing you distress)
  • Create something
  • Describe your surroundings using your five senses
  • Do a puzzle
  • Do something kind for someone else
  • Focus on a single task
  • Go out to eat
  • Go to an event
  • Hold ice
  • Listen to music or a podcast
  • Make a list of things (cars, dog breeds, music artists, etc.)
  • Take a hot or cold shower
  • Try something new
  • Volunteer
  • Watch something funny
  • Watch TV or a movie

Are Kids Experiencing Post-Covid ‘Long Anxiety?’

Are Kids Experiencing Post-Covid ‘Long Anxiety?’

Identifying the signs and ways to reduce anxiety.

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on www.psychologytoday.com

Here we are, almost three years post the pandemic that shut down our world instantly and has kept us in a state of uncertainty about many parts of life that we took for granted. We all experienced collective anxiety about the present, future, our health, and health of others. We also worried about the availability of basics such as food and toilet paper.

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines a pandemic as “a worldwide spread of a disease,” with the COVID-19 pandemic being our 21st (Pitlik, 2020). The government encted quarantine to limit the spread. Humans are social creatures and in need of interaction with others consistently. The rise of a “virtual” world allowed many to continue their jobs and education. However, isolation’s “side” effects continue to negatively impact mental health.

During this time, anxiety set in for many. Anxiety: “is characterized by increased arousal and apprehension tortured into distressing worry, and physically by unpleasant activation of multiple body systems.”

How is anxiety manifesting among teens?

Avoidance

Many children, teens, and young adults still avoid school, social situations, or participating as team members in sports or activities. Children may have participated in activities pre-pandemic and did not know how to “re-enter.” Some have found a strong interest in video games because they don’t require face-to-face interaction, and there is escape and submersion in a virtual and highly engaging electronic world.

Barbara Johnson of the Johnson Center for Health indicated that the quarantine change in lifestyle created weight gain; however, the long-term effect of the virus may have resulted in physiologically-based excessive hunger and increased appetite. Quarantine may have facilitated unhealthy habits like eating in response to boredom. The change in eating habits has created a change in appearance and ease of movement, further perpetuating avoidance of participating in school, socialization, sports, and activities.

Teens and young adults’ friendships changed over the pandemic. Thus, many teens have had to create new friendships; however, the problem is that their peer group was already small, and there weren’t other children with whom to create new ones.

30 Grounding Techniques to Quiet Distressing Thoughts

30 Grounding Techniques to Quiet Distressing Thoughts

posted on healthline.com

Grounding is a practice that can help you pull away from flashbacks, unwanted memories, and negative or challenging emotions.

What are grounding techniques?

Grounding techniques are exercises that may help you refocus on the present moment to distract yourself from anxious feelings.

You can use grounding techniques to help create space from distressing feelings in nearly any situation, but they’re especially helpful for improving:

 

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