From Resolution to Reality: Turning Intentions into Daily Action

From Resolution to Reality: Turning Intentions into Daily Action

written by Dr. Liz Nissim, posted on Psychology Today

When you think about it, we have no difficulty creating a long list of resolutions. We know exactly what we want to change, improve, or leave behind. We can clearly picture the outcome we’re aiming for. The challenge doesn’t lie in desire or even motivation but rather in the space between intention and execution.

The real obstacle is often a lack of direction. We know what we want, but not how to translate that desire into actions that fit into real life. Big goals can feel abstract and overwhelming, especially when they aren’t broken down into steps that can be practiced daily or weekly. Without a clear path forward, resolutions stay stuck as ideas rather than becoming behaviors. Progress doesn’t come from good intentions alone; it comes from consistent, repeatable actions that are small enough to actually do.

The Power of Habit Stacking

Once you’ve identified what you want to accomplish, the next step is finding the system that will support it. A system is not about willpower or perfect conditions—it’s about small, repeatable behaviors that fit into your current life. Not an ideal life. Not a future version of yourself with unlimited time and energy. This life. This week. Today.

One of the simplest and most effective systems is habit stacking. Habit stacking works by attaching a new behavior to something you already do consistently. Because the original habit is already established, it acts as a natural reminder and anchor for the new behavior. Instead of relying on motivation, you rely on routine.

For example, you might say:

  • After I brush my teeth, I stretch for two minutes.
  • After I pour my morning coffee, I journal one sentence.
  • After I shut down my laptop, I prepare my gym clothes for tomorrow.

The key is clarity and simplicity. The action should be so small that it feels almost too easy. These behaviors may seem insignificant on their own, but they create forward movement in a way that is realistic and sustainable. The goal isn’t intensity but, rather, frequency. Repetition is what creates change.

Over time, those small actions compound. A little progress each day adds up to meaningful movement after one week, two weeks, three weeks, and beyond. When the plan is already decided and built into your routine, you don’t waste mental energy deciding if or when you’ll act. Fewer decisions mean less friction, which makes consistency far more likely.

Provider Spotlight: Dr. Brian Friedlander

Provider Spotlight: Dr. Brian Friedlander

Dr. Brian Friedlander is a school psychologist with over 35 years of  experience in assistive technology. He has a passion for using a wide range of technologies in his professional work.

Dr. Friedlander was an Associate Professor of Education at Saint Elizabeth
University in Morristown, N.J., where he coordinated Graduate Programs
in Special Education and taught undergraduate and graduate courses in
special education and assistive technology.

Dr. Friedlander maintains a consulting and private practice in assistive technology, working with schools and parents to find innovative solutions to support student learning.  He provides assistive technology evaluations, training,
coaching and consulting to both families and schools. Dr. Friedlander
is available to give presentations and webinars on assistive technology. Many of his services can be done virtually over Zoom.

Dr. Friedlander is the co-author of Co-Teaching and Technology and author of Assistive Technology: What Every Educator Needs to Know. In addition, he has written the books Emotionally Intelligent Parenting, and Raising Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers.

You can contact Dr. Brian Friedlander at:

Brian@assistivetek.com
908.217.1017

http://assistivetek.blogspot.com
For a FREE assistive technology consult, click on the Link:
https://tidycal.com/assistivetek/15-minute-meeting-3lgz5np
Check out his YouTube Channel for some great videos:
https://www.youtube.com/@assistivetek

Books to Support Your Child’s Mental Health

Books to Support Your Child’s Mental Health

October is both Mental Health Awareness Month and International School Library Awareness Month! This is a great time to share book titles that support our children’s mental health.

NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, has created an incredible resource of book titles broken down into the following sections:

  • Books for Children about their issues:
  • ADHD, Anger & Impulse Control, Anxiety, Autism, Worry & OCD, Depression & Bipolar Disorder, Feelings, Self-Esteem and Relaxation, PTSD and trauma, Schizophrenia
  • Books for Children and Teens who have Parents with Mental Health Conditions
  • Books for Children and Teens who have Siblings with Mental Health Conditions
  • Books for Parents of Children and Teens with Mental Health Issues

To access this great resource check out:

NAMI Mental Health Book List

Summer Survival Guide for Parents of Extreme Children

Summer Survival Guide for Parents of Extreme Children

written by Brynn Burger, posted on Attitude Magazine

I write a lot about raising a child with extreme behavior disorders. For other special needs parents like myself, the idea of spending two hot months trapped at home with our children and their behaviors incites household-wide panic.

The heat, the lack of schedule, the food, the break from school — it is the stuff of nightmares, my friends. Our supremely awesome kiddos — you know, those with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD), ASD, GAD, ODD, SPD, and other diagnoses that affect mood, behavior, and sensory needs — thrive on schedules, predictability, and monitored diet and screen time.

By day three, many of us have succumbed to the normality of giving ourselves 15 minutes of peace and quiet, courtesy of kids’ YouTube and the iPad. I mean, for the love of meltdowns, there is no amount of coffee and boxed wine that could get me through this time of year without a few major meltdowns from my child with ADHD (and myself).

Special needs parents know that there is no foolproof, magic solution for chilling out our kiddo, but here are five strategies that have been tested and approved in our own home  to preserve what little is left of your sanity bustle (see: completely insane freak-out zone) of the summer season.

Set a Schedule, Even if It’s Vague

We know our kids need the predictability that comes with a schedule. So even if all you do is tell them in the morning three things they will be doing (some kids need times, others need references like, “after lunch we will…”), this will be helpful to prep them for returning to the more strict schedules provided by the public school system and, hopefully, weed out some of their anxiety that comes with their return in August. For our son, schedule is key. So, I used to be super prepared and had a Melissa and Doug Calendar (#CommissionsEarned) that had special pockets for our activities and clocks with the time.

Does My Child Need a Support Plan for School?

Does My Child Need a Support Plan for School?

written by Dr. Liz Nissim, published on Psychology Today

As a parent actively involved in your child’s education, you’ve likely become very familiar with their strengths, their challenges, and the subjects where there is resistance versus ease. You might have noticed patterns: some assignments lead to procrastinationor meltdowns, while others are tackled with independence and a sense of pride.

Many parents reach out to me when they begin to realize their child is struggling academically. The question that naturally follows is: Is this a learning disability, ADHD, anxiety, or a combination? And more importantly, Does my child need a support plan, such as a 504 Accommodation Plan or an Individualized Education Plan (IEP)?

Red Flags by Grade Level

Recognizing early signs of learning or attention challenges can make a huge difference. Below is a guide, broken down by grade level, highlighting common concerns that may indicate the need for further evaluation or support.

Kindergarten

  • Difficulty identifying upper- and lower-case letters
  • Trouble recognizing letter sounds
  • Struggles with number identification
  • Limited rhyming and phonemic awareness
  • Very limited sight word vocabulary
  • Avoidance of writing tasks
  • Short attention span or difficulty sitting still
  • Impulsivity or trouble following two-step directions

First Grade

  • Learns sight words during a session but quickly forgets them
  • Sight word vocabulary smaller than expected
  • Below grade-level reading (based on Fountas & Pinnell levels)
  • Avoids writing tasks
  • Struggles with basic number concepts (e.g., bigger/smaller)
  • Short attention span and impulsivity
  • Memory challenges
  • Difficulty with word problems and multi-step directions
  • Emotional responses (tears or meltdowns) during schoolwork

Second Grade

  • Letter or number reversals continue
  • Poor reading comprehension and fluency
  • Difficulty decoding unfamiliar words
  • Attention issues and impulsivity
  • Memory and recall difficulties
  • Trouble staying focused to complete tasks
  • Strong emotional responses to schoolwork
  • Difficulty following 2–3 step instructions

Provider Spotlight: Prep Academy Tutors of Northern NJ

Provider Spotlight: Prep Academy Tutors of Northern NJ

excerpts taken from Prep Academy Tutors

Prep Academy Tutors offers one-on-one tutoring services to students in Northern, NJ. We understand that no two children learn in exactly the same way, so we cater our approach to education based on a student’s individual needs. We work to form a close relationship that is both encouraging and empowering, as we help students fill in academic gaps. To us education is fun, and we want your child to have fun on their journey to academic success.

Our program offers:

  • Certified teachers
  • Flexible scheduling: in-home or online
  • Personalized programming
  • Private and group tutoring sessions
  • NJ Curriculum-Based Education
  • Enrichment & remedial programs
  • Tutors experiences in helping students with a variety of diagnoses and challenges including:
    • Autism spectrum disorders
    • ADHD
    • Executive Function challenges
    • Down Syndrome
    • Learning Disabilities, including Dyslexia
    • Anxiety disorders
    • Emotional regulation challenges
    • Developmental Delays

Learn more about the tutoring services our certified teachers can provide to help elevate your child’s educational experience by contacting us:

Prep Academy Tutors of Northern NJ

Contact Person: Greg Costanzo, Owner

Phone: 973.638.2868

Email: northernnewjersey@prepacademytutors.com

Website: https://prepacademytutors.com/location/northern-new-jersey/

Autism Acceptance: A New Understanding of Neurodivergence

Autism Acceptance: A New Understanding of Neurodivergence

written by Carla Shuman Ph.D. posted on Psychology Today

April is Autism Acceptance Month. Autism, which is one type of neurodivergence, has received a lot of attention from the press and social media in the last several years.

There are many people who speak and write about autism, including autistic individuals. If you are autistic or know someone who is or might be, it’s important to recognize that our understanding of autism is evolving. I hope this blog post contributes to improving awareness of the current conception of what it means to be autistic and the implications of this new knowledge.

The following are some facts about autism that are often unfamiliar to people but that are important to acknowledge as we move forward in helping autistic people thrive.

1. You can be autistic your whole life and not realize it until you’re an adult.

There has been a sharp increase in the number of individuals seeking an assessment to clearly determine if they are autistic in my practice. Many people would not have “met the criteria” according to previous standards and sometimes even the current ones in the DSM-5 (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition). This is why many autistic people prefer to use the term neurodivergent. This term explains that their brain is different but that it doesn’t necessarily fit into the traditional definition of autism.

2. Autistic people can acquire neurotypical social skills, but this does not mean they are no longer autistic.

The behavior they learn by observing others never feels right to them, but they often do it in an attempt to fit in. This is called masking. This doesn’t mean that they are comfortable behaving like their peers or that they find social relationships with their neurotypical peers enjoyable.

When autistic people can relax and be themselves without the expectations of typical social exchanges, they can enjoy being with people. For example, the expectation to ask personal questions of a new acquaintance might make them uncomfortable interacting, and that’s not how they typically connect with new people.

3. Autistic people can have empathy.

Sometimes, they have quite a bit of empathy, and their emotions can be very intense. They can feel the pain of others tremendously, and it impacts them more deeply than the average person. So, it is not the case that every autistic person lacks empathy and can’t relate to others’ pain. It is often the case that they cannot relate to their peers or to situations that bother or hurt others.

"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Julie C.
"Dr. Matheis has a remarkable ability to understand the unique needs of her patients and address them constructively. She builds strong, meaningful relationships with patients and their families, encouraging trust and collaboration. When working with my son who struggles with autism-related anxiety, she created an environment in which he was able to calm down and open up to her in ways I had not seen before. She was able to reach him and helped him work through his crisis/problem. Most importantly, she empowered him to move forward."
- N.L.
"Dr. Matheis is amazing. She has tremendous resources and loads of energy. She is not willing to accept anything less than the most effective results for her clients. She made me feel as if my son was her top priority throughout the entire process. I would, without reservation, give her my highest recommendations.  Thank you, Dr. Matheis!"
- Anonymous
"Dr. Matheis has an amazing ability to read kids and connect with them. She has been an invaluable resource for our family over the past several years and has helped us with everything from educational consulting, to uncovering diagnoses as well as family therapy. Working with Dr. Matheis never feels clinical and most importantly, our children love and trust her. We can not thank you enough Dr. Liz!"
- Anonymous
"My teenage son had been seeing Dr. Matheis through his senior year of high school, as he was only diagnosed with ADHD at 16 years old.  Dr. Matheis came highly recommended from our pediatrician and she has done wonders for our son as well as our family, navigating new ways for him to deal with his diagnosis without the use of medication.  She taught him ways to organize himself and even when something did not work for him, she patiently continued teaching him new ways to keep himself on track.  She has also helped us as parents to understand how his mind works so that we did not continue to blame his lack of focus on him, rather on his unique way of thinking.  Thank you Dr. Matheis!!!!"
- LG
"Dr. Liz is the best! Our family was directed to her by our Pediatrician to assist with figuring out severe mood changes, severe anxiety, strange new fears and food aversion that had come onto one of our children literally overnight. After just a couple of visits, she suggested that the issues may actually be rooted in a physical issue and suggested we immediately take our child to be swabbed for strep, because Dr. Liz suspected PANDAS (a pediatric autoimmune disorder brought on by strep). The same Pediatrician that suggested Dr. Liz would not do the swab (they do not believe in PANDAS and we no longer go there) but I took my child to my doctor who did the swab and it was positive for strep. When our child went on antibiotics, within 24 hours all symptoms went away and our child was back :-) Dr. Liz then recommended a PANDAS specialist who helped us and our child is in complete remission and is happy and healthy. We are incredibly grateful to Dr. Liz for her knowledge of all things, even the most remote and unusual and for helping us so much! Thank you!"
- Anonymous
"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Anonymous
"Thank you, Dr. Liz. Although we have told you countless times, it will never feel enough. You have listened when J could barely speak and continued to listen when he was sad, angry and confused. You've challenged him and directed us in our roles as parents. You've helped J face his fears while the list evolved and changed, and yet you've stayed committed to 'the course.' We pray that your children realize that time away from them is spent helping children learn and that vulnerability is a sign of strength and bravery."
- June I
"My son was admitted to an Ivy League school when only 2 years ago, you assessed him and saw his struggles, his Dyslexia. We are grateful that he no longer has to carry that deep feeling of inadequacy or shame that must have kept him so self conscious and from reaching his potential. He has the PERFECT program for him. He has A's in high math and economics. He became a Merit Scholar, a Boys State legislature, the HEAD captain of the football team and help a job ALL while studying and managing his classes and disability. I am PROUD of you, a young doctor, who knows and sees the vulnerability of children and helps them recognize "it's NO big deal" God bless."
- Anonymous

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