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Executive Function Coaching at PEC!
Executive Function Coaching at PEC!
Do you/does your child struggle to get started on tasks? Is it tough to stay motivated and complete projects? Is time management a huge challenge? Do you lose your personal belongings, and forget important meetings? Are you easily distracted while trying to complete important tasks?
Executive Function Coaching can really help!
Reach out to us today:
973-400-8371
drliz@psychedconsult.com
www.psychedconsult.com
Psychological & Educational Consulting, LLC, Livingston NJ
Why We Procrastinate and How to Stop Putting Things Off
Why We Procrastinate and How to Stop Putting Things Off
written by Dr. Liz Nissim, posted on Psychology Today
How many times have you heard yourself say, “I’ll do this later”? Or “I’ll do this tomorrow”? The statement itself is harmless and promising all at the same time. That’s what we call procrastination. It isn’t relaxation but rather the pushing off of the discomfort of a decision, a conversation, a task, or a call into the future and hoping that “later” or “tomorrow” will somehow come with greater focus, energy, motivation, or time. We all know how this really goes – tomorrow doesn’t create anything different or more magical than the present moment. When tomorrow or later comes, you’re going to be just as tired and unmotivated to do it.
So What Is This Thing We Call Procrastination?
Procrastination is the intentional delay of a task… even when you know delaying it will make things harder later. You’re not being lazy, but rather your brain is dodging the discomfort and rescheduling it for another time so you can gain relief now, today.
For children, teens, young adults, and adults with ADHD, procrastination is a very common part of daily functioning because of the following reasons:
- The ADHD brain struggles with executive functioning due to neurochemical deficits in the frontal lobe.
- The dopamine chase is intense and takes priority over things that need to be done.
- Starting a task with no immediate payoff (or dopamine hit) feels overwhelming or pointless.
- A task that is perceived as having too many steps or that will take too much time, and not knowing where to start, can create paralysis in decision-making or physical movement.
Even though procrastination is a universal phenomenon that impacts many people, with or without ADHD, for people with ADHD, the space between “I should” and “I can start” feels enormous and usually results in no movement at all.
Why Do We Freeze When We Know We Want to Start?
Many times, the reasons for procrastination look like any or all of the following:
- Having to make too many decisions or having too many tasks (big or small) that need to be accomplished (e.g., a teen cleaning up his bedroom or an adult wanting to clean up the kitchen)
- Not knowing what to do first or where to begin
- Feeling like the task is too big
- Feeling afraid of “doing it wrong”
- Feeling like the reward is too far away or is not worth it
What do we end up doing when we’re trying to avoid a task that we know we need to do? Everything except that thing. What does that look like?
- Playing video games
- Scrolling social media to distract and self-soothe
- Pacing
- Doing absolutely nothing
Why? Because avoidance somehow feels safer than starting. However, the aftermath of not completing the task that needs to get done is a feeling of inefficacy, which takes a toll on self-esteem and self-perception as a competent teen, young adult, or adult. What does this further lead to? A great deal of “I can’t” feelings and thoughts that create a spiral of negative thinkingand low motivation for other tasks and future goals.
Thankfully, procrastination isn’t a personality trait—it’s a habit. And habits can change.
3 Strategies You Can Start Using to Reduce Procrastination
1. The 5-Minute Rule
Ask yourself: “Can I do this in less than five minutes?”
If the answer is yes—just do it.
Send the email. Take out the trash. Make the phone call.
Small wins build momentum. And momentum is gold for ADHD brains.
2. If It Takes Longer, Schedule It
If the task that you need to get done needs more than five minutes, don’t shove it into the mental void of “later.” Instead, add it to your to-do list with an estimated time and—this is key—attach a timer when you actually begin. If you don’t have a to-do list or app, get one.
A tasks app and an online calendar together are a very useful combination. I encourage teens, young adults, and adults to use them in tandem. We carry our phones with us all day long. The days of a physical pad or a daily planner seem archaic because they are not with us as closely as our phones are. With that said, anytime a task comes up, get it on that task app. Keep the calendar and task list open on your computer and refer to them regularly. Setting a time or alarm on your phone is also helpful if you are not a good time watcher. Setting a timer for cleaning your room, for example, now feels like it has a definitive beginning and end time, which may decrease procrastination and motivate action instead.
Timers make tasks feel contained instead of endless.
3. Take Note of What You Are Doing Instead
When you catch yourself procrastinating, pause and ask: “Okay, what am I choosing instead?”
Is it scrolling? Gaming? Wandering? Most procrastination fillers give you nothing back; no progress, no rewards, just time gone. Take note of how you feel because you’re probably not actually getting a dopamine hit; rather, you are depleting yourself of your energy, and the negative thoughts are building. Just bringing awareness to this pattern will help you to change it.
We know that action begets action and procrastination begets procrastination. That is, the more you do, the more you do and feel good about it. The more you procrastinate, the more you procrastinate and feel really bad about yourself.
Productivity activates the reward centers of your brain. You actually will get a little dopamine rush, which translates into, “Hey, that felt good. Let’s do it again.” Eventually, when the next big task hits, you can look back at how you handled it before and use that confidence to start again. That’s long-term movement.
Procrastination isn’t laziness. It is overwhelm, avoidance, and the human brain trying to dodge discomfort. With tiny steps, clear decisions, and a timer or two, you can build momentum and retrain your brain to start instead of stalling. Your future self will thank you for doing today what you used to push to tomorrow.
New School Year, New Homework Strategies That Work
New School Year, New Homework Strategies That Work
written by Dr. Liz Nissim, posted on Psychology Today
Ready or not, here it comes — homework! Regardless of their age, our children, teens, and young adults will need to get through their assignments. It’s a skill, actually, a strategic skill that requires executive functioning that can make a difference between school feeling like a torture chamber or something your kid is confident they can do.
Create a Designated Space
Our kids and teens need a designated place, other than their bed, where they have space for their planner, books, notebooks, and folders. Sprawl if you wish. Keep the surface free of any other items. Place all pencils, paperclips, post-its, pens, tape, etc., inside the desk. Take out one subject at a time with its items. When done, place those items back inside the backpack, and move on to the next assignment. Your child or teen’s desk should be placed away from a window or doorway and against or between two plain walls.
A clearly designated place for homework, studying, and writing papers helps to create a boundary around the space and its purpose. It also gives a sense of control over the space and the goal that is to be accomplished while in this space. There is no time or energy spent answering the question “where am I working on my homework?” each day, and there is little time spent trying to prepare the space for an assignment. It is reset at the end of each night and is ready again for the next day.
Getting Started
At the end of the school day, our kids are spent and don’t want to work onmore schoolwork. Our kids of all ages can take some sort of movement break before starting homework, which may mean a bike ride, jumping on the trampoline, taking a walk, lifting weights, crab walks, bear crawls — something that creates physical regulation and brings attention back to the goal – homework getting done.
Now that you and your child/teen/young adult have a designated space, it’s time to get a designated start time. Initiation, or getting a task like homework (a low preference task) started, is really difficult. Our children and teens often procrastinate because the assignment seems boring, or it feels like it’s going to take a long time.
After a movement break and a snack, let’s get it started! Work on a few problems at a time, writing one paragraph at a time, reading a few pages at a time, and breaking down the assignment enough so that it’s getting done.
Why Kids with Executive Function Challenges Have Trouble with Planning
Why Kids with Executive Function Challenges Have Trouble with Planning
written by Kate Kelly, posted on Understood.org
Planning might seem like a natural process when you have to get something done. But for kids who have trouble with executive function, it can be a big challenge. Things often don’t get done or even started, no matter how large or small the task.
Learn more about why many kids with weak executive function skills struggle with planning.
What trouble with planning looks like
Imagine: It’s 11 p.m. and your child has a paper due in the morning. But there are only a few sentences on the screen, and panic has set in. After staring at the computer for an hour, your child quickly throws together a few paragraphs and then heads to bed.
It might be natural to chalk this behavior up to procrastination or lack of motivation. But what you might really be seeing is your child’s difficulty with planning.
Planning is the ability to set a goal, think of the steps needed to achieve it, and decide on the order of the steps. It’s a complex process that requires all three areas of executive function.
Many people have an easy time planning. But people with weak executive skills may not know where to begin, or what has to happen next in order to reach their goal. So, they don’t get through tasks, even if they’re able to do each step individually.
Trouble with planning affects all areas of life. But you may notice the impact most at school, especially as your child gets to the higher grades and has to figure out how to get work done on time.
Does My Child Need a Support Plan for School?
Does My Child Need a Support Plan for School?
written by Dr. Liz Nissim, published on Psychology Today
As a parent actively involved in your child’s education, you’ve likely become very familiar with their strengths, their challenges, and the subjects where there is resistance versus ease. You might have noticed patterns: some assignments lead to procrastinationor meltdowns, while others are tackled with independence and a sense of pride.
Many parents reach out to me when they begin to realize their child is struggling academically. The question that naturally follows is: Is this a learning disability, ADHD, anxiety, or a combination? And more importantly, Does my child need a support plan, such as a 504 Accommodation Plan or an Individualized Education Plan (IEP)?
Red Flags by Grade Level
Recognizing early signs of learning or attention challenges can make a huge difference. Below is a guide, broken down by grade level, highlighting common concerns that may indicate the need for further evaluation or support.
Kindergarten
- Difficulty identifying upper- and lower-case letters
- Trouble recognizing letter sounds
- Struggles with number identification
- Limited rhyming and phonemic awareness
- Very limited sight word vocabulary
- Avoidance of writing tasks
- Short attention span or difficulty sitting still
- Impulsivity or trouble following two-step directions
First Grade
- Learns sight words during a session but quickly forgets them
- Sight word vocabulary smaller than expected
- Below grade-level reading (based on Fountas & Pinnell levels)
- Avoids writing tasks
- Struggles with basic number concepts (e.g., bigger/smaller)
- Short attention span and impulsivity
- Memory challenges
- Difficulty with word problems and multi-step directions
- Emotional responses (tears or meltdowns) during schoolwork
Second Grade
- Letter or number reversals continue
- Poor reading comprehension and fluency
- Difficulty decoding unfamiliar words
- Attention issues and impulsivity
- Memory and recall difficulties
- Trouble staying focused to complete tasks
- Strong emotional responses to schoolwork
- Difficulty following 2–3 step instructions
10 Back-to-School Tips for Kids and Parents
10 Back-to-School Tips for Kids and Parents
posted on The Personal
Tips for getting kids ready for back-to-school
Whatever their age, many kids are apprehensive about starting school or going back to school. The good news is there’s a lot you can do to ease their minds and help them get ready for a new school year.
1. Early to bed, early to rise
Getting back into a school sleep won’t happen overnight! A few weeks before school starts, get your child into the habit of going to bed earlier. Gentle winding-down activities such as bath time and reading before bed can help your child relax.
2. Re-establish a routine
Establishing a consistent routine is important for kids. Write out the steps in the routine and rehearse them with your child. In the evening, this could include doing homework, playtime, brushing their teeth, having a bath, and reading before bed.
3. Encourage independence
Children who play an active role in preparing for back to school – such as choosing and organizing school supplies and new clothes – are more likely to get excited about going back to school, which in turn eases their jitters. Is your child old enough for chores like emptying the dishwasher or making lunches? Daily, age-appropriate tasks will help your child gain independence and confidence.
4. Choose the right backpack
Backpacks that are too heavy or worn improperly could result in muscle strain, headaches, and neck pain. Try to choose a backpack made of sturdy, lightweight fabric with wide, padded straps that will support your child’s shoulders. Watch that they don’t sling it over just one shoulder.
5. Talk about safety
Review outdoor safety rules – things like looking both ways before crossing the street, taking the same route every day if they are walking, familiarizing themselves with crosswalk rules, and being cautious in talking to strangers.
6. Establish healthy habits
Involve your children in choosing and preparing healthy lunches and snacks. Help them find physical activities they enjoy. Take them shopping for healthy snacks and lunchhey can pack themselves. Try to stick to regular meal times.
7. Limit screen time
Back to school is the perfect opportunity to re-establish screen time limits. Why not have the whole family “unplug” in the evenings before bedtime? Choose a spot where everybody can charge their devices overnight. Use an alarm clock instead of a cellphone to wake up in the mornings.
8. Map it out
If your kids are starting at a new school, practice walking or driving to the bus stop or to the school building a week or two before school starts. You could even play in the school playground before school starts. This creates fun memories associated with the school before summer vacation ends.
9. Talk about first-week jitters
Reassure your child that being nervous is natural – even for teachers. You can help your child cope with these feelings when you:
- Let them express their fears. Perhaps you can offer stories of your own first-day jitters when you were a child.
- Teach them to breathe deeply and slowly to calm their nerves.
- Discuss the scenarios that worry them. For example, if they’re worried about who to sit with or talk to on the first day, help them plan a strategy and rehearse it so they’ll know what to do.
10. Celebrate the start of a new school year
If you celebrate the first day of school, your kids will see back-to-school as a transition they can really enjoy. Try a back-to-school party the day before school starts, complete with cake, balloons and educational gifts. And don’t forget to take a picture on the front step in their first-day-of-school outfits. It’s going to be a great year!
Is My Child Dyslexic?
Is My Child Dyslexic?
written by Dr. Liz Nissim-Matheis, posted on Psychology Today
It’s March, and you’ve noticed a few things about your child’s reading and writing skills. At your last parent-teacher conference, your child’s teacher recognizes that your child is struggling with reading and writing. What can be further confusing is that your child may have made progress but is still not reading or writing at grade level. Slowly, over the school year, you’ve noticed that your child avoids reading or huffs and puffs when it’s time to sit down and write a response, a short answer, or an essay.
So now what?
We can’t ignore the elephant in the room. The COVID-19 pandemic created a gap in instruction for 1.5 years. Our children did not receive the face-to-face instruction that they needed. Many of the academic struggles that our children were experiencing went unnoticed because how can a teacher recognize reading and writing struggles when assignments are being handed in electronically. There isn’t an observation of the entire child who may have been melting down behind the screen. A great deal of teacher observations and academic instruction were lost during that time.
As our children progressed to the next grade and then the next, parents and teachers began to notice skills that were not at grade level in reading or writing. Our children began to show more behavioral signs, and the natural explanation was that our child was “behavioral” without truly understanding or investigating the underlying roots of those behaviors.
ADHD and School
ADHD and School
Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.Melinda Smith, M.A., posted on Help Guide
School can be a challenge for students with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder—but here’s how you can help your child or teen succeed in the classroom.
Setting up your child for school success
The classroom environment can pose challenges for a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD). The very tasks these students find the most difficult—sitting still, listening quietly, concentrating—are the ones they are required to do all day long. Perhaps most frustrating of all is that most of these children want to be able to learn and behave like their unaffected peers. Neurological deficits, not unwillingness, keep kids with attention deficit disorder from learning in traditional ways.
As a parent, you can help your child cope with these deficits and overcome the challenges school creates. You can work with your child to implement practical strategies for learning both inside and out of the classroom and communicate with teachers about how your child learns best. With consistent support, the following strategies can help your child enjoy learning, meet educational challenges—and experience success at school and beyond.
Tips for working with teachers
Remember that your child’s teacher has a full plate: in addition to managing a group of children with distinct personalities and learning styles, they can also expect to have at least one student with ADHD. Teachers may try their best to help your child with attention deficit disorder learn effectively, but parental involvement can dramatically improve your child’s education. You have the power to optimize your child’s chances for success by supporting the steps taken in the classroom. If you can work with and support your child’s teacher, you can directly affect the experience of your child with ADHD at school.
There are a number of ways you can work with teachers to keep your child on track at school. Together you can help your child learn to find their feet in the classroom and work effectively through the challenges of the school day. As a parent, you are your child’s advocate. For your child to succeed in the classroom, it is vital that you communicate their needs to the adults at school. It is equally important for you to listen to what the teachers and other school officials have to say.
You can ensure that communication with your child’s school is constructive and productive. Try to keep in mind that your mutual purpose is finding out how to best help your child succeed in school. Whether you talk over the phone, email, or meet in person, make an effort to be calm, specific, and above all positive—a good attitude can go a long way when communicating with the school.
To Test or Not to Test Privately?
To Test or Not To Test Privately?
written by Dr. Liz Matheis, published on Psychology Today
You know your child is struggling academically, whether he’s not reading at the same level as the other kids in his grade or she’s struggling to write her thoughts on paper.
You’ve spoken to your child’s teacher, who is on board with you and confirms what you see and know. With that said, what’s the next step?
The natural next step is to reach out to the child study team (CST) of your school. From my experience during the last three years, there is often redirection back to the general education arena for an intervention and referral services plan (IRSP), which includes the accommodations to be implemented for 4-6 weeks.
Teachers are asked to offer more differentiated instruction and try more strategies before the child can be referred for a child study team evaluation.
Where does this leave our struggling child? Waiting. Waiting for intervention while more time in the school year passes by. During that time, the gap widens, and remediation opportunities are lost.
I speak from both personal and professional experience. This means that both you and your child are frustrated and flailing.
What’s another option? The private psycho-educational evaluation.