ADHD and School

ADHD and School

Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.Melinda Smith, M.A., posted on Help Guide

School can be a challenge for students with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder—but here’s how you can help your child or teen succeed in the classroom.

Setting up your child for school success

The classroom environment can pose challenges for a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD). The very tasks these students find the most difficult—sitting still, listening quietly, concentrating—are the ones they are required to do all day long. Perhaps most frustrating of all is that most of these children want to be able to learn and behave like their unaffected peers. Neurological deficits, not unwillingness, keep kids with attention deficit disorder from learning in traditional ways.

As a parent, you can help your child cope with these deficits and overcome the challenges school creates. You can work with your child to implement practical strategies for learning both inside and out of the classroom and communicate with teachers about how your child learns best. With consistent support, the following strategies can help your child enjoy learning, meet educational challenges—and experience success at school and beyond.

Tips for working with teachers

Remember that your child’s teacher has a full plate: in addition to managing a group of children with distinct personalities and learning styles, they can also expect to have at least one student with ADHD. Teachers may try their best to help your child with attention deficit disorder learn effectively, but parental involvement can dramatically improve your child’s education. You have the power to optimize your child’s chances for success by supporting the steps taken in the classroom. If you can work with and support your child’s teacher, you can directly affect the experience of your child with ADHD at school.

There are a number of ways you can work with teachers to keep your child on track at school. Together you can help your child learn to find their feet in the classroom and work effectively through the challenges of the school day. As a parent, you are your child’s advocate. For your child to succeed in the classroom, it is vital that you communicate their needs to the adults at school. It is equally important for you to listen to what the teachers and other school officials have to say.

You can ensure that communication with your child’s school is constructive and productive. Try to keep in mind that your mutual purpose is finding out how to best help your child succeed in school. Whether you talk over the phone, email, or meet in person, make an effort to be calm, specific, and above all positive—a good attitude can go a long way when communicating with the school.

To Test or Not to Test Privately?

To Test or Not To Test Privately?

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, published on Psychology Today

You know your child is struggling academically, whether he’s not reading at the same level as the other kids in his grade or she’s struggling to write her thoughts on paper.

You’ve spoken to your child’s teacher, who is on board with you and confirms what you see and know. With that said, what’s the next step?

The natural next step is to reach out to the child study team (CST) of your school. From my experience during the last three years, there is often redirection back to the general education arena for an intervention and referral services plan (IRSP), which includes the accommodations to be implemented for 4-6 weeks.

Teachers are asked to offer more differentiated instruction and try more strategies before the child can be referred for a child study team evaluation.

Where does this leave our struggling child? Waiting. Waiting for intervention while more time in the school year passes by. During that time, the gap widens, and remediation opportunities are lost.

I speak from both personal and professional experience. This means that both you and your child are frustrated and flailing.

What’s another option? The private psycho-educational evaluation.

Is My Child or Teen Anxious?

Is My Child or Teen Anxious?

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

Does my child have a gastrointestinal issue? Is he an insomniac? Why is she struggling to get to school each day?

It’s not always easy to understand or identify when your child is struggling with anxiety. Sometimes it looks like a crabby kid, a kid who is melting down because he didn’t get “his way,” or a teen who is being disrespectful.

Sometimes, it’s even easy to mistake anxiety for a learning disability or an attention deficit disorder. For example, your child may think that he’s not good at math. Each day when it’s time for the math lesson, your child may complain of a stomachache in anticipation. He may ask to go to the school nurse. He is then missing the lesson and will struggle to complete the worksheet that is now being sent home for homework. Sometimes anxiety can look like your child is struggling with that particular subject but it is the thought that he can’t do math that leads to losing out on instruction rather than a true learning disability.

Being preoccupied with thoughts can also look like a focus issue because anxiety draws our kid’s attention inward. That is, your child or teen may be internally distracted because she is worrying about her safety or your safety. He may be nervous about being called on in class and not having the right answer or not being able to produce an answer quickly enough. Your child may also be worrying about another child who excludes him or makes fun of his hair or sneakers.

Build Your Child’s Executive Functioning Skills

Build Your Child’s Executive Functioning Skills

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

As parents, we want to give our children the tools they need so they can be successful. Unfortunately, when our children enter late elementary or middle school, there isn’t a class to teach them how to organize their materials and plan ahead for their assignments, projects, and tests.

When my son and daughter started middle school, they were overwhelmed with how many responsibilities their teachers now expected them to juggle. They weren’t prepared to handle the demands of each class with a different teacher, a locker, so many notebooks to carry, and the weekly array of quizzes, tests, journals, and so on. Throw in a pandemic, and the result is that many kids lost out on building these skills during a critical time.

For children and teens with ADHD, it’s OK if parents need to coach and mentor with a more hands-on approach. Many parents even continue to coach their young adult children while in college, and that’s OK. Keep in mind that each child’s journey is going to be unique. The goal is to make progress without the pressure (on you and your child) to achieve a certain goal by a specific age. That will only serve to frustrate the both of you.

The Best Way to Explain Learning Disabilities to Your Child

The Best Way to Explain Learning Disabilities to Your Child

written by Rick Lavoie, M.A., M.Ed., posted on ADDitude Magazine

A parent once called my special education school to request an admissions visit for her and her son, who was struggling mightily in school. She asked a strange question in her initial phone call: “Does the school have any signs or posters displayed that identify the program as a school for kids with learning disabilities?”

I asked her why she wished to know this. She replied, “My son doesn’t know that he has a learning disability, and we don’t want him to know.” He knows, Mom. Believe me, he knows.

I have long been puzzled by a parent’s reluctance to discuss a child’s learning disability diagnosis with him. The knowledge that he has an identifiable, common, measurable, and treatable condition often comes as great comfort to the youngster. Without this information, the child is likely to believe the taunts of his classmates and feel that he indeed is a dummy. The truth will set him free!

If a child does not have a basic understanding of the nature of his learning challenges, it is unlikely that he will be able to sustain his motivation in the classroom. Because he is puzzled about the difficulty that he is experiencing at school, he is unlikely to be able to commit to his studies.

3 Homework Strategies for Teens With ADHD

3 Homework Strategies for Teens With ADHD

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

It’s the start of a new school year, the honeymoon phase is slowly beginning to fade, and the rigor of academics is taking off. Every year, I begin the new school year with a mountain-high amount of hope that the summer served as a source of maturation and consolidation of a new set of skills. In many ways, I’m correct and my three children show a new level of growth.

For kids with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or executive functioning struggles, the start of a new school year often comes with a greater need for organization of school materials, time management, prioritization, and study skills.

One thing I hear from parents is that their child may spend hours “working” on homework and have nothing to show for it. How can that be? Well, I went to my best source of information: adolescents.

The responses were honest and raw. I heard that they start their homework, but then the phone dings, or they get an idea about a show or a game, and look it up (because they can). Before they know it, so much time has passed and little or no progress on their assignments has been made.

This is usually the time when a parent checks in and the young man or lady tries to “look” busy, but truly, no real work has been done. Or, teens have said to me that’s when they “bark” at their parents and ask to be left alone. Part of that response is the awareness that they have been sitting in front of their homework for a while but little has been done, and the other part is pure frustration and procrastination.

“Please Let Him Make Just One Friend.”

“Please Let Him Make Just One Friend.”

written by Mary White, posted on Attitude Magazine

This back-to-school season, I implore you: Please talk to your kids about disabilities. Yes, we need to have conversations about physical disabilities — wheelchairs, braces, missing limbs, hearing aides — but let’s not forget to talk about the hidden disabilities that are so often missed entirely. Just because a child looks normal doesn’t mean there is not a battle going on in their brain, and that is so important for everyone — teachers, friends, relatives — to understand.

Here is what I’d like my child’s teachers and classmates to know about my son: He may say or do things that seem strange. Sometimes these things will make him a target for ridicule, judgments, and being left out. He may be “too extra” for the other kids: the extra energy, extra emotions, extra funny, extra loud, extra caring, extra attentive, etc., means he is bullied by some while other kids steer clear of him to avoid the same.

If your child is like my son, you avoid asking about if he made any new friends. Had he made a friend, the excitement of finally being accepted would be beaming across his face; we would already know our kid had exciting news.

 

Provider Spotlight: Brave Wings Academy

Provider Spotlight: Brave Wings Academy

Brave Wings Academy is a strength-based therapeutic preschool program designed specifically for autistic children. Our center-based program is offered Monday – Friday 9:00 – 3:00 in Fairfield, NJ. We provide 1:1 instruction with a technician and weekly parent training. Our curriculum prepares kids for future learning and each student receives daily services which can include speech, feeding and occupational therapy, self-help/independence training, sensory play, music, art, yoga and so much more! Our program focuses on establishing sensory and communicative supports while teaching self-advocacy skills. And our program is covered by most insurance plans.

Brave Wings Academy: 155 Passaic Avenue – Suite 150 Fairfield, NJ 07004 (973)800-8515 / info@bravewingstherapy.com

Anxiety and Friendships: New School Year, Fresh Start

Anxiety and Friendships: New School Year, Fresh Start

written by Dr. Liz Matheis, posted on Psychology Today

The start of the school year can breed anxiety for parents of anxious children, teens, and young adults. Although your child may want and seek and desire friendships, this may be an area that needs some coaching with the fresh start of a new school year.

So, what are you, as the parent of an anxious child, teen, or young adult, to do in an effort to help your child learn how to connect with other same-aged peers, build the skills to manage situations that don’t go their way, and maintain friendships over time? This is a difficult task because you hurt for your child when you see conflicts, when you hear words like, “She’s being mean to me,” when you notice that your and your child’s invitations for playdates are not being answered or reciprocated, or when you find that your teen or young adult is not being included in social plans.

Keep Your Ears Open

For young children (elementary-aged), I encourage parents to invite a friend over to play and to keep a listening ear from the next room. That is, take note of how your child interacts with his peers. For example, is your child bossy? Or, is your child quickly backing down to what the other child wants to do but then voicing to you later that the playdate was not fun because they did not get to play the games they wanted?

Listen to how your child manages negotiations and compromises, if at all. Are you hearing, “If you don’t play this game with me, then you’re not my friend”? Take note of which games your child enjoys and if the other child is joining them.

All of this information gives you insight into how your child is interacting with other children when you are not within earshot. You are also gaining valuable information about your child’s preferences, conflict resolution skills, and social personality. And try to maintain a schedule of one playdate per week, as friendships are built outside of school. Although this is difficult for working parents, make it a point to organize one social plan for each of your children per week.

For older children (middle school and older), the car is a great place to get a vibe check on what’s happening in your pre-teen and teen’s social world. Volunteer to drive your child and friends around and let the conversations go. The quieter you are in the driver’s seat, the more they forget you’re there and speak openly and candidly.

"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Julie C.
"Dr. Matheis has a remarkable ability to understand the unique needs of her patients and address them constructively. She builds strong, meaningful relationships with patients and their families, encouraging trust and collaboration. When working with my son who struggles with autism-related anxiety, she created an environment in which he was able to calm down and open up to her in ways I had not seen before. She was able to reach him and helped him work through his crisis/problem. Most importantly, she empowered him to move forward."
- N.L.
"Dr. Matheis is amazing. She has tremendous resources and loads of energy. She is not willing to accept anything less than the most effective results for her clients. She made me feel as if my son was her top priority throughout the entire process. I would, without reservation, give her my highest recommendations.  Thank you, Dr. Matheis!"
- Anonymous
"Dr. Matheis has an amazing ability to read kids and connect with them. She has been an invaluable resource for our family over the past several years and has helped us with everything from educational consulting, to uncovering diagnoses as well as family therapy. Working with Dr. Matheis never feels clinical and most importantly, our children love and trust her. We can not thank you enough Dr. Liz!"
- Anonymous
"My teenage son had been seeing Dr. Matheis through his senior year of high school, as he was only diagnosed with ADHD at 16 years old.  Dr. Matheis came highly recommended from our pediatrician and she has done wonders for our son as well as our family, navigating new ways for him to deal with his diagnosis without the use of medication.  She taught him ways to organize himself and even when something did not work for him, she patiently continued teaching him new ways to keep himself on track.  She has also helped us as parents to understand how his mind works so that we did not continue to blame his lack of focus on him, rather on his unique way of thinking.  Thank you Dr. Matheis!!!!"
- LG
"Dr. Liz is the best! Our family was directed to her by our Pediatrician to assist with figuring out severe mood changes, severe anxiety, strange new fears and food aversion that had come onto one of our children literally overnight. After just a couple of visits, she suggested that the issues may actually be rooted in a physical issue and suggested we immediately take our child to be swabbed for strep, because Dr. Liz suspected PANDAS (a pediatric autoimmune disorder brought on by strep). The same Pediatrician that suggested Dr. Liz would not do the swab (they do not believe in PANDAS and we no longer go there) but I took my child to my doctor who did the swab and it was positive for strep. When our child went on antibiotics, within 24 hours all symptoms went away and our child was back :-) Dr. Liz then recommended a PANDAS specialist who helped us and our child is in complete remission and is happy and healthy. We are incredibly grateful to Dr. Liz for her knowledge of all things, even the most remote and unusual and for helping us so much! Thank you!"
- Anonymous
"The various psycho-educational testing Dr. Liz conducted on our son gave us critical clues about where his learning strengths and weaknesses lie so that his needs could be better addressed at home and school. Moreover, because of their warm, kindhearted personalities, both Dr. Liz and her associate, Stephanie, formed an immediate bond with my son. He eagerly looks forward to his weekly therapy sessions. We are so lucky Dr. Liz came into our family's lives when she did! For stressed-out families trying to help their children as best they can, she is a calming voice of reason!"
- Anonymous
"Thank you, Dr. Liz. Although we have told you countless times, it will never feel enough. You have listened when J could barely speak and continued to listen when he was sad, angry and confused. You've challenged him and directed us in our roles as parents. You've helped J face his fears while the list evolved and changed, and yet you've stayed committed to 'the course.' We pray that your children realize that time away from them is spent helping children learn and that vulnerability is a sign of strength and bravery."
- June I
"My son was admitted to an Ivy League school when only 2 years ago, you assessed him and saw his struggles, his Dyslexia. We are grateful that he no longer has to carry that deep feeling of inadequacy or shame that must have kept him so self conscious and from reaching his potential. He has the PERFECT program for him. He has A's in high math and economics. He became a Merit Scholar, a Boys State legislature, the HEAD captain of the football team and help a job ALL while studying and managing his classes and disability. I am PROUD of you, a young doctor, who knows and sees the vulnerability of children and helps them recognize "it's NO big deal" God bless."
- Anonymous

Learn More About Dr. Liz!

Subscribe to our Mailing List
Psychological and Educational Consulting Logo

513 W Mt Pleasant Ave, Ste 212,
​Livingston, NJ 07039